To Washington DC With Love
by CaptainGrebenshchikov8
Summary: Nothing comes easy when you're Sidney Crosby
1. Chapter 1

Title: To Washington D.C. With Love

Relationship(s): Sidney Crsoby/Alexander Ovechkin, Evgeni Malkin/Nicklas Backstrom, James Neal/Paul Martin, Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane, Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin

Notes:

This is written in an Alternate Universe where none of this actually takes place.

This also has been posted on archiveofourown dot org under the name Candace_X_Chambers, which is me, so don't be alarmed.

All feedback is appreciated.

Chapter 1:

Sidney unlaces his skates and places them in his workout bag. They just finished a horrible 5-1 loss against the Washington Capitals. Luckily it was a road game and not at home. If it was he would be a wreck right now.

"See Sid on plane." Geno touched their foreheads together before leaving. It was really the only acknowledgement he got. He was sort of pissed off considering he scored their goal, but he wasn't going to say anything. The last thing he wanted to do was add insult to injury by making them feel guilty or whatever.

Everyone had already cleared out by the time Sidney willed himself to leave. Luckily he chose to room alone. Whether they win or lose, Sidney always ends up having a bad night for reasons that he'd rather not admit.

Let's just say that it has nothing to do with the ridiculous weather.

The ride back to the hotel is quiet. He tried turning on the radio, but the first thing he heard was about the game, He's surprised he didn't break the knob turning it off.

With his head hung down, he opens his door and closes if behind him before throwing his bag on the ground and sighing.

"Ovechkin, why are you here?" Sid asks, turning to face the Russian on his bed.

"Wanted to talk." Alex mumbles.

He should say no. He should tell him to leave and don't come back. He should tell him to drop his number and just leave him alone, forget about him. Being so close to his big gay crush isn't healthy for his game.

"About what?" He says, impatiently crossing his arms across his chest.

"Sit down first." Alex pats the area next to him.

He shouldn't. He should stay exactly where is. Or he should demand Alex to leave. He should. That would be the smart, logical thing to do.

He sits down.

"What is so important that you couldn't just call me and tell me in the morning like a normal person?" Sid sighs.

"Do you consider this.. Friendship?" He uses his hands to gesture the space in between them. Sid rolls his eyes and slaps the palm of his hand onto his forehead.

"It's almost eleven o'clock at night and you guys just kicked our ass. So I'm -really- tired." Sid closes his eyes.

"And you decide to sneak into my room and ask if I'm your -friend-? Wow." Sid opens them back up and looks at Alex, who has a huge grin on his face.

"Well, not only question. Just first," Alex says.

Sid snarls at him. He shouldn't answer. He should kick the stupid Russian out of his room and go to sleep. "Well, I guess. Sure." Sid is going to beat the shit out of him in the morning.

"Why?" Alex asks.

Sidney raises an eyebrow at him. He shouldn't say 'because I have a major crush on you' or anything close to that. "Because Geno makes me." Finally he does something smart.

It also makes the smile fall off of Alex's face. "Only reason?"

Sid rolls his eyes, more or less at himself. "Well," he really hates himself, "you're kind of... funny, I guess. And nice, in a way. And you're good competition." Sid mumbles the rest, looking down at his feet.

"Really?" There's the cockiness right back where it belongs.

Sid looks back up and into his eyes. "If you ever tell anyone I ever said that I will fucking kill you," Sid threatens, he tries his hardest to sound and look intimidating.

Alex falls on his side onto the bed and laughs. "Sidney Crosby thinks I'm funny. This is great day," Alex says when he's done.

"Good for you. Now leave." Sid lies down and props himself up on his elbow, staring Alex directly in his gorgeous blue eyes.

"You never returned the question!" Alex points out, looking all to serious. Sidney rolls his eyes and snarls.

"Why am I your friend?" Sid asks. Why does he even try and talk to this guy? Seriously! He's so fucking irritating.

"Hm." Alex hums.

Ovechkin scoots closer to him on the bed, looking him straight in the eyes. Sidney resists the urge to roll them or stare longingly back into his.

"Nothing." Alex says, smiling.

Sidney sits up, rolling his eyes. "Oh fuck you."

"Kidding Sid. Take joke." Sid let himself relax as he fell back onto the bed.

"I'm expecting you to be serious like I was with you. But you're whole life is about making jokes. Why am I surprised I can't have a civil, adult conversation with you?" Sid says.

Alex lays his head on Sidney's shoulder and hums. It's obviously not an American tune. Probably something from Russia.

"I like personality." Alex whispers. "Nice, kind, innocent. Pretty eyes and smile. Adorable laugh, mainly at my jokes. Love it when it so hard you hold your stomach and get high pitched. Like to make you blush, not just with sex jokes." And it does make Sidney blush, stupid Russians.

"Oh.. uh thanks." Sidney says.

Alex sits up, rubbing his eyes. "I leave now."

"That was the only reason you came?" Sidney asks, his voice sounding desperate even to his own ears.

"Yes. Just want proof to show Sasha I have non-Russian friends." Alex explains.

"Why not ask someone on your team?" Alex shrugs and smiles at him.

Ovechkin pats Sidney's cheek lightly. "Like you more." Then he leaves.

Sidney doesn't understand why he puts up with Ovie. He could easily have kicked him out. There is absolutely no way he'd stay against Sidney's protests with a hallway full of Penguins.

Why does he do it? Alex consistently breaks everyone one of his personal boundaries. Sidney doesn't like to be touched that often. He doesn't know why, he just does.

He also doesn't like flirting and chirping about his sexual orientation for.. obvious reasons. Of course the team doesn't know why, they just do what they're told. No questions asked.

He never allows anyone to be in his personal bubble. No more than an arm lengths apart.

Unless it's for hockey purposes, no one intrudes his personal boundaries.

Except Alex. Then he has a fire burn in his gut and he wants more. It's really stupid, having feelings for a rival.

At least he's not on the Flyers. Sid would kill himself if he ever gave Claude an overly obvious checking out. He would sprint head first into the wall. No hesitation.

Alex is.. not bad compared to Claude though. Especially the way Alex's hands on him sends a fire through him. Rather than Claude who makes his blood turn cold. Is that really a bad thing though?

Okay, he's gonna stop thinking now.

He slides under the covers, his cock twitching slightly.

Being a virgin isn't exactly the easiest thing. Especially being gay and a hockey player where you're surrounded by attractive men who would never question your sexuality. You could walk into a meeting in short shorts and a purse and everyone would think it was just a big joke.

The only people who know he's say are himself, Jonathan Toews, and Pat Brisson. Jonny became his best friend a while back and Sid figured he deserved to know (plus he is too). And Pat.. well.. that's his agent. He couldn't just not tell him.

Though it's probably better he's a virgin. At least he can't masturbate to the feeling of someone he doesn't want to inside him.

He's really going to stop thinking.

To prove his determination, he shuts off the light on the bed stand and forces his eyes to shut. How long until he falls asleep, he doesn't know. He wakes up multiple times due to the many nightmares that have followed him around since childhood. Thankfully, he's thought himself how to control the screams. Sometimes he wakes up with his fist in his mouth. That's a better solution to waking up the people sleeping on either sides of his room.

Around five in the morning, he decides to just wake up. He can't go back to sleep, even if he does he'll wake back up in an hour. So he goes for a jog in that time.

The cool, November morning breeze cooling down his entire body and letting his body untense while he sets a steady pace. It's not quite the feeling of being on the ice, but nothing is.

Not even being around Alex Ovechkin could ruin the mood he's in when breakfast rolls around.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Sidney sighed. Playing against the Flyers is never fun, even at home. It's always good hockey though. Sid loves hockey, so he tolerates it.

It's not that he hates the Flyers. Off the ice, they're pretty decent people. Key word, -off- the ice. On it they talk shit (especially to Sid) and make dirty plays that the refs never call, they're complete assholes.

Not to mention that Max got traded to them, or whatever happened. They took away his only normal friend, So now he has to deal with a Russian, a goalie, and Johnathan Toews. Okay, Johnny isn't all that bad. Unless you get him around Patrick, who he has been like in love with since he was born.

"Siiiid-neeey!" Max sings as he skates over to him former captain.

"Orange is -really- not your color." Sid smiles. "You look a lot better in black".

"Miss me, eh?" Max reaches out and strokes his cheek.

"Oh my god. Not my face." Sid pushes his hand away.

"You're not my captain anymore. Don't have to follow your orders." Max got a little closer. "Since we don't play for the same team, how 'bout dinner?" Max started skating circles around him, grinning like a psycopath.

"In your dreams, Superstar." Max stopped in front of him,

his mouth open in shock.

"Don't make me call Claude over here, 'cause that shit hurts man. That shit really hurts." Max started fake crying on Sidney's shoulder. He rubbed his back in large circles. He rolled his eyes at Geno who skated past laughing at him.

"You're a Flyer, right? So fly away. Shoo." Sidney lightly pushed Max off him.

"At least I'm not a bird who can't fly." Max smiles at him.

"Fuck you." Sidney rolls his eyes again. Why does he put

up with these people?

"Okay." Max's smile got even wider when Sidney blushed.

"Max, what the fuck are you doing?" Claude skates up to them and pokes Max with his stick.

"Nothing yet." Max winked at him.

Sid's gaze adverted over to Claude, who was already staring at him.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night." Sid says.

Apparently, Claude had gotten facial reconstruction over the summer (not really, is purely an exageration). His hair was cut short. It's still messy, but -damn- it makes him look fine.

"Come on Talbot." Claude looked Sidney over twice. "See you on the ice, Crosby."

"Try not to spend to much time in the penalty box." Sid watched as they skated away, butterflies in his stomach.

He is going to kill himself. He is going to dive his head straight into the ice before the game even starts.

"Okay Sid?" Geno asks, a worried expression on his face.

"Yeah. Everything is fucking fantastic."

He feels like a teenage boy sometimes. His hormones can not be acting up like this.

Well, Max always said that hockey makes Sid horny.

Great, now he misses Max.

Now he's thinking about Max.

Which leads him to think about Claude and his uber sexy haircut.

Did he really just use the words 'uber', 'sexy', and 'Claude' all in the same sentence?

His life is over. It is. He can't go on living when he likes a guy who he's supposed to hate with every fiber in his body. If he loses tonight it's going to be all his fault. And he's going to give up on life. He really is.

It's a pretty decent game. The Penguins lead it 4-3, with Sidney having a hat trick and an assist in Geno's goal. Max has two and Bourdon managed to sneak one in between Flower's legs. A lucky shot really, but Flower isn't going to let another one happen in the third quarter.

The whole game Sid doesn't have any major problems. A playful push from Max is the only thing that sets him off. He's used to all the obviously illegal hits that aren't called and the overly hard checks into the boards. Giroux doesn't come after him like usual though.

That is until about a quarter of the way into the third quarter. He's behind the Flyer's net, struggling with Downie for the puck. He almost has possession when Claude comes over. His plan was to make an ass out of the both of them by still getting the puck out and scoring. That is expected of him to do.

"Come on faggot. Give me the puck and I'll let you suck my dick later." Claude growls in his ear, lips against it.

His body tenses up as his blood runs cold. It's just enough time for Steve to take the puck. He slips it past Fleury and ties the game. Sidney skates a little wobbly after that.

And this is why Sidney doesn't like sex jokes directed at him. He always over thinks everything and takeas it seriously. He really shouldn't, Claude wouldn't actually mean that. Right?

After that, Giroux attacks him with illegal hits, constantly. One time he flips a speeding Sid over his head, him landing on the ground with a groan. He gets up, refusing to stay down, even after the second and third time it happens. But seriously, are the refs -blind-?

He remains calm through it all, grinding his teeth to keep his sanity. As captain he has to. It would be setting a bad example to throw down his gloves and start an altercation. Dan would be up his ass about it until the last game he ever plays against the Flyers in his life as a Penguin, which will probably end up being his whole career.

Giroux ends up scoring with a minute and a half left. It wasn't Flower's fault at all. There were bodies scrambling everywhere. Not to mention the Flyers had 72 shots on goal. Only five going in is actually pretty impressive.

It still sucks to lose back-to-back games. A road game against the Capitals, it stings but is tolerable. But a home game against the Flyers is fucking heart breaking.

"Come to bar. We hang out." Geno suggests, hand on Sidney's shoulder.

"It's not like this night could get any worse." Sidney sighs.

He hates Geno. He hates all Russians. He hates vodka.. and all alcohol. He hates the Flyers and losing to them at home. He hates losing back to back games.

So when you mix that all together into on night. That means you have one very pisssed off Sidney Crosby.

The only reason he hates Geno is for dragging him into this bar in the first place. He said they'd hang out together. Really, that meant Geno got to catch up with Ilya Bryzgalov and leave Sid all by himself. He had Max with him for about an hour, but he left to dance. Sid knows he isn't the easiest person to talk to, especially since Max has always been the most perverted person Sid has ever met in his life.

He only drinks a little, he plans on designating since Geno is going to be hammered by the end of the night. He also doesn't like to drink that much. Being unable to control his own body, or not remembering what he did last night, isn't exactly on the top of Sidney's to do list. He would love to forget about the 5-4 loss for one night, no matter the consequences. That would be immature and inappropriate, he couldn't just leave him stranded here with no suitable ride home.

It goes okay for a while, staring blankly at the people on the dance floor. Bodies moving in time to every beat of the pop song that Sidney doesn't recognize.

"The gentleman in the booth over there bought this for you." The burnett bartender put down a margarita in front of him and pointed behind him.

He thanked the bartender with a smile and waited for her to move on before he turned around, his heart racing. It might be stupid to react like that, but no one ever buys him a drink. Except Max. But he's Max. It would probably be some stranger. A fan even. He wouldn't be surprised. Absolutely no one would be interested in him. Or maybe it's just a Philadelphia fan who was thinking him for letting him get his ass beat. Just anything else than what it should generally mean.

To his luck, it's Claude sitting there. He starts to think maybe the guy moved and Claude had conveniently filled his place. Then he grins at Sid and raises his glass.

He should bang his head on the table and knock himself unconsciousness. That would be the smart thing to do.

Instead he grabs the drink and heads over there.

"Really?" Sid asks. Claude pats the area next to him and he sits down. He really needs to learn to stop giving. into people.

"Aren't you going to drink it?" Claude asks, watching Sidney carefully.

"Can't. Designating for Geno." Claude grabs one of Sidney's hands, massaging the tense muscles that means he should relax more.

"Do you always have to be Sidney Crosby? You need to let loose and have some fun." Claude says, looking into his eyes. "It's not like you'll get drunk. And I couldn't spike it.. yet."

Sidney rolls his eyes. The feeling of his hand being knead by the Flyer's uncharacteristingly heedful fingers.

"You're an ass." Sid says, a chuckle escaping the other man's lips.

"Seriously, drink it. Calm down. You'll feel a lot better if you do." Claude picks up the beverage putting it in front of Sid's face.

"I hate you." Sidney takes the glass, inhaling it.

"You came over here. Remember?"

He nurses the beverage as they trade stories about pranks pulled on other teammates (and some on themselves) and their failure attempts at playing hockey under the age of eight. It's actually quite interesting for Sid, getting to talk to someone so casually about hockey without sensing threat. A surprising gesture, still nice though. By the end of his drink, he -does- feel better. He shoulders unstiffen and he let's himself enjoy his company, no matter how horrible the person may or may not actually be.

"Better now, eh?" Claude asks.

"A lot actually. Thanks."

When the pair of lips touch his, he. relaxes even more and kisses back. His tongue being dominated was something he rarely enjoyed, the few kisses he has had he was always in control. Making out, a hand on his crotch, is something he's never done in public, or ever really.

It registers to him a moment afterwards. He's sitting in a bar that is famous for it's athletes, mainly hockey players, so he's not going to be mistaken for somebody else. And yet he's sitting here liplocking with another hockey player - a rival one at that - in front of everyone. And oh god.. oh god..

Sidney lightly shoves Claude off of him, his heart speeding up and his palms sweaty.

How could he be so careless? What if someone saw them? What if someone took a pictire? Oh god.. He's such an idiot.

"What's wrong?" Claude asks, wiping his mouth.

"What's -wrong-?" Sid repeats. "How about the fact that we just made out in -public-. Did that even click in your brain?"

"That's what I've been thinking about this whole time. It's not like your little pranks were so fucking hilarious." Claude thinks it over. "Well, when they turned the cold water on blast while you were in the shower is something I'd kill to see." Sidney blushes, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well a little warning would have been nice." Sid points out, licking his lips. "Or asking for permission."

"You did a lot better than I expected you to." Claude cocks his head and grins at him.

"What the hell does that mean?" His eyes shrinking into slits.

"I didn't expect you to kiss back. I almost wanted you to be just as stuck up as Max says." Sid's eyes open fully.

"I am -not- stuck up." Sidney objects.

"You make me stick up." Claude flirts, making Sidney's face go red again. "Take me back to your place and you.. can fix the problem." Sidney's breathing hitches at the request. His heart flutters and a wave of heat is building up in his stomach.

"I'm going to find Geno." Sidney says. He gets up, not wanting to be followed.

He's pretty easy to spot. Him and Ilya stand out. Geno is plastered to a point where it's a miracle he's even standing.

"Come on G. Going home now."

With one arm slung over Sid's shoulder, he manages to half-carry, half-drag Geno into his car all by himself. He feels pretty proud of himself.

He takes Geno back to Sid's house. He didn't want to leave the Russian all alone being that drunk. He let's his teammates crash in his guest room. The only people who use it are his parents and his sister. Unless Geno believes in cooties or something, it isn't dirty.

Sidney lets his body fall onto the bed. As much as he hates the Flyers and everything they stand for. As much as he hates Russians and a lot of other stuff. Nothing compares to how much he hates himself.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

After another embarrassing 1-0 loss to the Philadelphia Flyers on the road, the last thing Sidney wants is to shake their hands. He has to though. No matter how much he'd rather high five them in the face.

They have just one more game for the regular season against the Rangers. Not going into the playoffs would be a new experience for Sid, one he doesn't want to ever experience.

Another thing he doesn't want to experience is having to face the stupid reporters on his way to the locker room. He leads the line in though, he'd rather take the heat than anyone else who really didn't deserve it.

"We're all going to stay here with you, Sid. You lost just like we did and you tried probably harder than all of us." Tanger says. "Except Flower, but he doesn't count."

"Thanks guys." Sid lets his eyes rest on all of them before he walks closer to the giant huddle of his leaat favorite people.

"Wh.. How would you explain the poor performance by your team tonight?" an ESPN reporter asks.

"We didn't play poorly. Um, we weren't connecting on the ice like usual. We still tried our hardest, the Flyers out played us."

"Is there anything in particular that you think messed up your game?"

"No."

"Does it have anything to do with the pictures?" a burnett from CBS.

"Excuse me?"

"Pictures have spread all over Twitter of you sitting in a bar kissing another man before abruptly leaving." Brady (who Sidney has met before from CNN) raises an eyebrow following his statement. "Does this mean you're a homosexual?"

"No comment." Sidney's lungs feel like they're shrinking.

"Who is this stranger?"

"Are you dating him?"

"Are you having sexual relations with him?"

"I'm not answering anymore questions and neither are my teammates." Sid looked away and almost ran into the locker room.

Sid's heart is thudding hard in his chest. His throat is closing and his breath keeps hitching. He can barely see anything from the tears that he's fighting to keep in as he sits on his bench. His stomach is making knots as it twists out of fear. He's furious, some of it's directed at Claude, most of it at himself. How could he be so stupid, so careless? How could he let himself be exposed in public and .. and.. this is going to ruin him. It's going to destroy his whole career.

His ears start to ring as he pulls out his phone and pulls up Twitter. He prays that it isn't actually him. He hopes that it's very fuzzy and blurry and he can deny it because the only evidence they have is not usable.

The first thing that pops up is the picture. The first one is very unclear. Obviously two men are kissing, but neither faces are recognizable. The next one is the same, they're clearly having a conversation. The third one is.. is clear. No fuzz or grain. It's a clear shot of a man with puffy red lips and slightly messed up hair.

And it's a clear shot of Sidney.

He wills himself not to just drop to the ground and bawl his eyes out. Instead he tosses his phone into his bag and tries to breath calmly and not to think. That doesn't help, makes it worse that he has to cover up his panic attack.

"Sid?" He looks up at the sound of Geno's voice. "What they talk about is true?" He gulps and blinks rapidly.

"Y.. Yes." Sid studders out. He hates how wrecked his voice sounds and knows it must sound worse to them.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Flower asks, sitting next to him. Sid hangs his head.

"I.. I didn't want you guys to hate me." Sid confesses. "And it's not.. normal.. being like this. I'm not supposed to like men, It's wrong and.. and.. I couldn't tell anyone, even if I wanted to."

"Stand up." Geno orders. Sid does what he's told, kind of expecting to get punched or something.

Instead he gets hugged and lips brush against the side of his head.

"Never hate you Sid." Geno says louder than what he really should. He lets him go and takes a step back. "If anyone have problem with this or hate Sid now or whatever. Then leave now, trade later."

"No. Ass beating now, leave afterwards, then you get traded." Tanger threatens. "Considering if you can still walk."

"You ain't gonna do shit." Brooks kicks him in the shin. Tanger punches the air and Orpik pretends like it actually hit him in the face and they air fight each other.

Until Claude Giroux walks in.

"Hey Sidney," he says, shifting foot to foot as he receives death glares from everyone, "can I talk to you.. alone?"

Sidney takes a steo toward him, but Geno puts his hand on his chest to make him stop.

"Anything you say to him you say to everyone." Geno commands.

"G, it's fine." Sidney tries to move past him, but Cooke grabs his shoulder and makes him stop.

"Geno is right, for once. Anything you say to our captain can be said in front of us." Cooke adds.

"I'm sorry. If you wanna call me tomorow we can talk about it then." Sid apologizes. Claude shakes his head and blushes, well it's barely noticable.

"No, it's fine. I'm sure this will affect them more. than it will me." His teammates let out a growl. Claude stuff his hands nervously into his pockets.

"About the pictures," Claude says, "I was just wondering if you were going to come out. I'm going to. I just wanted to know whether or not I should leave your name out." Sid feels Geno stiffen beside him.

"I don't know." Sid replies. "I just heard about it when the reporters almost attacked me with questions. I haven't had enough time to call Pat or Mario. I haven't even talked to Coach yet." Claude nods, looking into his eyes.

"Okay. So you um.. Do you want my number? That would probably be best. If you want I can get it from Max. It might be more.. convenient." Claude suggested, shifting nervously.

"I can give it you." Sidney pried Geno's grip off his shirt, shaking away Cooke's hand.

They exchanged numbers. Claude told him the time that the bus went back to Philadelphia, and Sid gave him the time practice starts and ends.

"So I'll call you when I'm done with management." Sid promised. Claude shoved his phone in his back pocket and looked at him.

"I'll be waiting." He says.

Claude hugs him, hands on his waist. Sidney wraps his arms around his neck. It surprises him at first, and it also suprises him when Claude was a little reluctant to pull back,

"Bye." Sidney says.

"Bye." Claude says. He watches Sidney for a couple more seconds before he actually does leave.

As soon as the door clicks and Sidney turns around, the room erupts into barf noises. Well, Geno is bent over in laughter when Flower falls onto the floor. Sidney covers his face and sits back down on the bench.

"I change my mind." Tanger says. "I do hate you."

"Flyer Sid, really?" Brooks asks, pretending to barf on top of Tanger.

"If you like orange that much, then you should've tried for Max at least." Flower adds from his position on the ground.

"Ovie would be better." Geno has to sit on the bench and wipe his eyes from how hard he's laughing. Sidney blushes, thank god he's covering his face.

"What the -fuck- is going on here?" Dan's voice is louder than all the noise. It dies down, except for Geno's and Marc's deep chuckles, and Sidney uncovers his face.

"Everyone, shower and leave." Dan drops his voice. "Sidney, I'll set up a meeting after practice." He disappears from the way he came and the chatter starts up again.

"I just have one question for Sid." Neal says, crouching in front of his captain so they're at eye level.

"Fine." Sidney gives in.

"Would you have sex, or at least give head to, anyone in this room?" Neal tries to keep a straight face while he speaks, but the corners of his mouth keep twitching upwards.

"Uh.. uh.. no comment?" Sid's cheeks start to burn from the color that creeps onto them.

"Well I am very much single." James flirts, giving a friendly smile.

"My previous rules still apply. I hope you guys know that." Sid reminds them.

"No they don't." Kuni ruffles his hair as him and Neal head off to the shower.

"Come on, before take all hot water." Geno says, shaking his shoulder.

"No, it's fine. I can wait until you're all done and go then." Sid shrugs.

"Nonsense, Sid." Geno raises his eyebrows.

"I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I'll be fine." Flower flicks him in the ear.

"Ow! Dick."

"Now get up before we gang rape you." Flower pulls him up by the elbow.

"Fuck you." Sid teases.

"No. We're going to fuck you. That's kind of how rape works." Flower takes off Sid's jersey and pads.

"I know how to undress myself." Sidney swats Flower's hands away.

"Just thought you'd like the attention." Flower grins at him before removing his own clothes.

"I hate you fuckers."

Actually that statement is very wrong. He loves his teammates. They're his second family. Well, they might be his only family after tomorrow.

Notes:

I just wanted to let you know what I said about homosexuals is, as you should already know, is completely not my own opinion. I don't hate my sexuality and obviously I don't think it's wrong to be like me.

I really wanted this chapter to show their love for each other and the brotherhood that runs deep. Most guys would turn around a gay friend, especially when they're exposed around them quite often like hockey players are. I personally find this bullshit, my friends (mostly) didn't treat me like that.

I also want to inform you that I'm getting to the Sid/Alex part here pretty soon. So just stay with me.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Sidney has officially started to freak the fuck out. He was fine in the locker room, near all his understanding teammates. Now, sitting in his lonely hotel room, he doesn't know what to do. He can't go bother his teammates anymore. He doesn't want to act all clingy and stuff. Trying to contact parents or someone would be a big mistake.

So he calls the one person he can who knows what he's going through.

"Sidney, it's almost three in the morning. What do you want?" Jonathan Toews asks, his voice groggy.

"It's only like midnight."

"I'm in Toronto asshole." Jonny sighs, "What do you want?"

"Have you checked Twitter recently?" Sid asks, resisting the urge to chew on his finger nails.

"Yeah I did." Jonny pauses. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. That's kind of the reason I wanted to call you, oh smart one." Jonny chuckles that really adorable laugh that Sid loves.

"Well you already know that I would help you hoist up that rainbow flag any day of the week." Sid chuckles lightly, "Seriously Sidney. Forget about everyone else. Forget about the fans, the press, the Penguins, me, hockey, your family. Foget everything." Jonny stops to let that sink in. "Now what do you want to do? What do you think would be best for Sidney?" Sid runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"You are. the absolutely worst advice giver in all of mankind." Sidney jokes.

"Hey! It's not my fault that your life is one big soap opera and when you finally get some action it gets plastered all over the news." Jonny defends.

"Baby, who are you talking to?" a deep voice says from the other end.

"Uh. Uh.. No one. Just go back to sleep." Jonny says to the other person.

"'Kay. Love you." the deep voice says, Jonny returns it right before the door clicks shut.

"Was that Kaner?" Sidney asks. Jonny groans.

"Yes, Oh my god. Don't freak out on me."

"Why didn't you tell me!? You've had feelings for him since.. since you knew what feelings are." Sidney asks. "I feel very betrayed."

"Oh -really-? Then how's the guy in the picture?" Jonny makes a clicking sound with his tongue. Sid's blood freezes over.

"Fine. We're even." Sidney compromises. "But he just told you that he loves you and I consider that to be pretty big and-"

"He's drunk." Jonny interrupts.

"You're an idiot."

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Being a captain, you should know better than to sleep with your teammates. Especially when drunk. C'mon Jonny."

"He waltzes in here and starts kissing me before I can even react. It all happened so fast.. I didn't even have time to check if he's drunk.. or.. or if he feels the same about me." Jonny explains. Sidney hears the thud of what he assumes is his friend's head hitting the wall.

"Okay. I understand." He actually doesn't. People don't just come over to his room and come onto his him that. Obviously the mess he's in may or may not be a lot worse.

"Why do you lie to me?" Jonny asks. "You've got a great body and you're sexy and all. But we both know that no guys are lining up at your door," Jonny chuckles at himself. "Though I'm sure they would if you came out."

Sid lets out a small laugh. It feels good just to joke like it's all no big deal, because it's really not.

"If you decide to come out," Jonny says, "make sure you tell me in advance. I wanna support you and defend you in every way possible. And maybe come out too. Because if you start this revolution, there are going to be lots who follow."

"Revolution?" Sid repeats. "It's not even that big of a deal!"

"To us it's nothing. But to all of those peoole who feed off of invading our personal lives to support their families, this is a -big deal-." Jonny replies. "Wayne Gretzky titled you as the 'Great One'. He passed his torch onto you! He said you're gonna really change the game! Well, probably not in this way. But you can still use that flame to light up this path of equality and prove to all that athletes are no exception."

"Hey Jonny,"

"Yes dear?"

"Go to sleep and definitely keep your day job." Jonny giggles at him.

"Will do. Love you, Sidney."

"Love you too."

Sid hangs up, tossing his phone into his bag. With a loud sigh he flops back onto his bed and shuts his eyes.

Thinking over what Jonny said, it actually is a big deal. Having to put everyone else aside to thank about himself. Sidney is not at all selfish, he puts so many others in front of himself. So thinking about what he wants and what he needs is very hard for him. And forgetting about hockey. Impossible.

He has to though, Jonny does know what he's talking about.

Sidney Crosby. Regular person. No professional hockey. No celebrity status. No endorsements. Nothing. About to come out to his parents -

Sidney forces his eyes open. His -parents-. What is he going to say to them? They're going to hate him, that's for sure. They aren't going to love him. Taylor is going to be their new favorite.

Ugh. Taylor! He totally forgot his baby sister. What will he tell her? She might not hate him. She'll probably expect to go shopping for clothes and shoes and go boy watching. Ew, she'll make him listen to her boy crushes (and expect him too, even worse). Taylor is going to have him make a .list of like every guy he's ever had feelings for in the history of his existence. And that would mean having to talk to her about Alex.

Now he's thinking about Alex. Should he tell him? I mean, he guesses that they're friends or whatever. But it's not like he deserves to be told straight up or anything. Ovie has caused him a lot of problems as it is, the last thing he wants is to have to tell the guy he likes about his sexuality.

Wow, he sounds like Jonny when he talks about Kaner. Ew.

He hears his phone start to buzz, so he groans before picking it up.

_-need to talk?-_ the text from Alex reads.

_-in the morning-_ he replies

_-be waiting- _is the last thing he reads before shutting it off.

He tucks it under his pillow, laying his head on top of it.

This is all really his fault. It really is. As captain - and as someone in the closet - he should've known better than to drink with a rival. He shouldn't have been so irresponsible to let his emotions get in the way of his actions. He really needs to learn to say no, even if his whole body screams yes.


	5. Chapter 5

Notes:

I'm sorry. But this may seem a little boring or dull. .

I'm just going to warn you in advance that in this the Penguins haven't won the Stanley Cup yet. So just deal with it.

Also I'm really sorry for not posting in a while. I had to rewrite this several times. This was the best version, so I hope you like it.

Chapter 5:

Waking up to the sound of his phone receiving a call is never a pleasant way to wake up. Especially when that call comes in at _four in the morning._

"Sidney. You awake?" Pat asks.

"Am now." Sid groaned into the phone. He rubs his right eye with his wrist and sits up.

"Okay good." Pat sounds nervous, his breathing uneven and his voice just a bit shaky. "Have you made a decision yet?"

"No I haven't." Sid replies.

"Okay. Well I just talked to Giroux and he wants to talk it over tomorrow. Then you and I will have a private conversation with Mario." Pat explains, "What do you want to do? It doesn't have to be a permanent answer right now, but I need to know where your head is at." Sidney hesitates, his head starting to throb with how fast his life has changed.

"I want to come out. And I've got supporters. That doesn't even include the team." Sidney answers. He doesn't know why he says the last part, but it sounded important in his head.

"Good, good. We can uh.. make a list of people who want to personally aid to your.. coming out tomorrow. For now, get some rest. If you change your mind, no one will judge you."

"I appreciate it Pat. Goodnight." Sidney smiles for absolutely no reason.

"Thanks to your crazy ass soap opera life, this is the start of my morning." Pat retorts before hanging up on Sid.

He smiles more. Glad to know somethings can't change your agents.

He spends to night mostly tossing and turning and practice feels like hell. The whole team seems to be avoiding him for no reason.

Well fuck them, Sid repeats in his head as he switches to taking shots on the goal without Flower or Vokoun. It's kind of hard to play by yourself against an imaginary defense.

Desprite times call for desprite measures. And Sidney feels very desprite.

No one jokes around with him or chirp about his awkward skating from last night's restless sleep. They have plenty of fun just joking about each other's whatever. He's even left alone when he waits for everyone else to shower and leave before he takes off his pads. He doesn't understand what their deal is, but whatever. He has enough drama going on right now that he doesn't have the heart or energy to find out.

"Hello Sidney." Is the first thing he hears the instant he steps foot into the meeting room.

The meeting room isn't a very large place. Tan walls, white tile floor. A round table in the center with three chairs. And a screen that would need a projector kept in the back on the wall.

Sidney shakes his agent's outstretched hand with a pleasant of a smile that he can manage. "Pat."

"Please, take a seat and we shall begin." Pat says yawning and sitting down on a chair in the front of the round table.

Claude doesn't look up at him. Just sits there with a pale face and troubled expression. Sidney sits down, slowly and suspicously.

Pat picks his briefcase off the ground and sets it on the table. "Okay," he yawns again. "Regarding our discussion last night. Sidney, any changes?"

"No."

"Claude. As your agent, I should tell you that coming out could get you a better contract deal. And also a lot of publicity." Pat shakes his head. "But that is a bunch of bullshit. I am your friend, and I'm going to tell you to do whatever makes you happy."

Claude looks at his lap, clearing his throat. "For the interests of my career and my family. I decided that I can't be dragged into this." His voice is raspy, very rough and he gulps when he's done.

Pat sighs (seemingly out of relief). "I do appreciate you making everyone's lives easier. If you ever change your mind or if you just need to talk, you know my number."

"Can I leave?" Pat nods once. Claude springs up and leaves in such a rush, a breeze follows him out.

"Musta been awkward, huh?" Pat slumps back in his seat, raising an eyebrow at Sidney.

"Yeah uh I guess." Sidney shakes his head. Whatever Claude's problem is is his issue and surely Sidney doesn't need to be involved with it.

Pat rolls his shoulder. "What did your parents say?"

"Huh?" Sidney asks.

Pat rolls his eyes at Sidney. "You know, when you told them about all this." He uses his hands to gesture to their situation (technically it was to the air, but it's obvious what he meant).

Sidney stares at his agent dumbfound, resisting the urge to purposefully push his own chair over and face plant on the tiles.

Pat does face plant on the table though, letting out a loud groan. "Sidney, I love you to death. But you're an idiot." Pat says, sitting up straight again.

Sidney pulls out his phone, "I'll skype with them later."

"Okay. Correction. You're a moron." Sidney peers up at him. "We're flying to Canada today dingus." When Sidney's facial expression and confusion over his lack of description doesn't change, "So you can talk to them in person."

"I so knew that." Sidney lies.

Pat stands up, crossing over to Sid and placing a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should try talking to someone who knows more about this than I do. It might help."

Sidney smiles at him. He literally has no idea what the fuck he's saying, or at least trying to say, but he figures he has good intentions. "Now get up. Have to get meet Mr. Boss Man."

Mario's meeting room isn't much different than the previous one. Except it has a rectangular table and mote chairs. And a pissed off general manager.

Ray shoots up from his chair as soon as the door is clicked shut. "What the fuck is the matter with you?" Ray asks.

"Ray. Sit down." Mario commands, looking at his general manager.

"Are you fucking kidding me! Our star player decides to have a public orgy with his secrey fuck buddy and not tell us about it. How could you -not- be pissed off?" Ray's face turns a medium shade of red as he yells.

Mario slowly stands up, getting in Ray's face. He snarls something inaudible, a very dangerous look in his death glare. Ray glances at Sidney before slinking back down into his seat with his head hung in shame.

Mario folds his hands and gestures for Sidney to take s seat in front of him. After he has obeyed, the lecture begins.

"Sidney. Ray clearly didn't express our concerns in an appropriate manner by any means," Mario says, "What he did intend to say was correct." He sighs. "I know it was never your .. plan to be caught kissing that man in the bar that night. We know you are much more responsible than that. You're to responsible for your age." Mario half smiles. "But we are.. disappointed for not being told about your boyfriend in case something like this did happen. But now we know and we can treat it properly."

"He's not my boyfriend." Sidney objects. "it was just a kiss, nothing more."

"Shame." He can hear the trace of amusement in Mario's voice. "Okay. Well. Since starting to road trip in Canada with the Senators. We'll probably set up a stage in Montreal right before heading to Toronto. Okay?"

"Is that it?" Sidney asks.

Mario looks at him, raising both eyebrows up to his hairline. "Uh. Well, do you have any questions or concerns or things to bitch about?"

"No."

Ray groans loudly. "Thank jesus that is over. Now we can talk about hockey things. I'll go get Dan." He practically jumps out of his seat and runs to the door in order to leave the most awkward situation of his life.

Mario reaches out, grabbing Sidney's hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Pat playfully kicks him in the calf. "Dingus hasn't even told his parents."

"Well I suspected that much." Mario squeezes Sidney's hand. "I took you into my home for a long time. I am a lot different than your parents. So why?"

Sidney looks into those eyes he always finds so soothing and homey. "I didn't want you to hate me." His voice sounds so small and pathetic even to himself.

Mario rolls his eyes. "I don't hate my first son and I'm never going to hate. my second."

"Unless you keep losing to your boy toys." Dan says as he pushes open the door and plops down into Ray's former seat, leaving the general manager to stand awkwardly at his side.

"Glad to know you have so much confidence in me Dan. Appreciate it."

Dan props his feet up on the table and smirks. "Hey. I'm just stating the fact that both times we lost in the last few weeks have had teams with some pretty attractive players on them." Dan's glasses slide down to the bridge of his nose as he looks at Sidney seriously (or tries to anyways).

"Maybe we should talk about something hockey instead of human life." Ray says as he scratches the back of his neck and shifts from foot to foot.

"Someone's a little afraid of the other team, are we?" Dan asks, smiling up at him.

Ray's eyes go wide as he balls his fists. "I have absolutely no problem with homosexuals. And we all play on God's team, thank you very much."

Mario slams the table. "Ladies! We have some serious business trying to attend to. So stop playing with each other and act like adults."

Ray hangs his head while Dan smiles proudly like he won the Stanley Cup for the first time.

"Okay. So the Senators are playing poorly right now."

The meeting and practice lasted about three hours. The guys weren't as chirpy as usual (not that he was complaining). They didn't seem to be acting specifically friendly towards him either. Whatever.

Getting on their private plan was a different story. They acted as friendly as ever. Especially when Flower and Geno fell asleep on Sid's shoulders. (With Marc drooling a little. Ew so disgusting).

Getting off the plane and getting into their hotelroom took about another two hours. Not to include getting to his room and having to explain to Geno (who he's rooming with) where he's going, why he's going there, and that there is now way on hell he's allowed to let drunk, naked girls get anywhere near his bed, and then trying to hide hid bag where no one would find it under his bed took about another two and a half. By the time he was standing at his parent's door step, it was seven o'clock and his sister would definitely be there.

Great.

He does knock and wait patientally for them to open. Drove all the way here, might as well do something useful.

His mother opens the door looking startled. "Come in sweety."

The house is quiet, minus the soft hum of the voices from the T.V. "Where's Taylor?" There is no way a place could ever be this quiet with a teenage girl living in it.

"Asleep." His mom says. Her face is pale, gets ever worse when Troy gets up from his spot on the couch and meets them in the middle of the living room.

"Sidney," his father says, "why didn't you tell us?"

They stare into each other's eyes. Sidney swallows trying to inhale like a normal person. "I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. I wanted to be your perfect child and nothing less."

"Baby, we'll never be disappointed in you." his mother hugs him, sympathy all over his face. His dad, on the other hand, continues to stare at him, expression only softening a little.

Troy cocks his head to the side. "Does he treat you right?"

"Well we're not actually.. together."

His mom takes a step back, placing her hands on her hips. His dad smiles and pats his shoulder.

"My little boy is finally a man."

His mother gasps. "How could you condone this type of rude behavior? We raised our son to be respectful to others and himself. Sidney Patrick Crosby, I am very disa.. angered by the way you decided to treat your body. You are a very good looking kid. You can't just fling your dick towards-"

"Oh my god. That didn't not happen." Sidney interrupts.

"Sure it didn't." Troy smiles wider at him. "Well I'm sure your agent has already come up with a plan to cover up the situation, eh?"

Sidney's chest tightens. "Actually... I decided to come out."

His dad closes his eyes and sighs loudly. "What?" He opens his eyes and looks at his son so serious it's almost painful.

"There isn't any other option." Sidney defends.

Tina walks off to the couch, sitting there and possibly crying. Troy pinches the bridge of his nose. "So you're telling me that there is no way to hide how much of a fag you are?"

Sidney cringes. "It was clearly me there and there isn't a doubt about what I was doing. And we can't claim that I was drunk considering I only had one drink the whole night and I drove home."

His dad's face turns a bright red like Ray's did earlier and he knows he's in for a serious bitching.

"Do you not understand how painful it's been to turn on ESPN or any other sports channel and have to hear about your controversial pictures? And you expect to barge in here, tell us how you have to ruin your career and expect us to forgive you!" his dad yells. "You have no fucking idea how many people have stopped me or your mother at the store or around town to gossip about you. Or how Taylor gets teased because her big hockey star brother is actually a big queer bag."

Sidney blinks, biting his lip. "Dad-"

"No. You don't get to call me that. Only my son does. And of you go through with this then Taylor is going to be an only child." His dad squints his eyes.

Sidney's air gets caught in his lungs as well as any intelligable words. "You can't be serious."

"I am very fucking serious." Troy says as his voice starts to rise. "Hockey is meant to be played by real men. Not little boys who strive to get on their backs."

"Daddy, you can't just talk to him like that." Taylor says, coming down the stairs. "He's part of our family. We always put our differences aside and love each other unconditionally. How is Sidney any different?"

Tina gets up and tries to force Taylor up the stairs. "Get out." Troy growls.

Sidney gives Taylor one last look over before he does leave. Getting in his car and driving back to the hotel seems to take a lot less time than the first trip.

Maybe it's because he's speeding and driving like a maniac.

No one throws him a second glance as he goes into elevator and slumps down the hallway to his room.

Could this day get any worse?

Sidney opens the door slowly, hoping that Geno would be asleep or not here or something.

"Sid!" Ovechkin says as Sidney closes the door behind him.

"Oh my god. What are you doing here?" Sidney groans and sits on the foot of his bed.

"Came to see best friend. Haven't heard from in while. Concerned." Alex sits on Sidney's bed crosslegged and facing his side. "Plus we in Toronto, boring city."

"I said I was your friend. Not your best friend." Sidney corrects. "I thought Bäckström was your best friend."

Alex puts his hand on Sidney's shoulder. "He is Swed. No count. Need American BFF."

Sidney can't help but smile, the things Alex says sometimes are ridiculous. "That makes no sense but whatever," He turns so he's facing Alex fully and sitting in the same position as him. "But why me? There are Americans on your team that you could hang out with. Why would you want to be with the big gay freak that's hated by even his own parents?"

Alex sighs and drops his hand from Sidney's shoulder to his thigh. "Know what you're going through."

"Huh?" Why can he never manage to say anything smart when he needs to?

Alex chuckles at him. "I know suprising. Is not gay, just bisexual. Told parents, hate me for while. Not completely comfortable, more tolerates it. Don't bring guys home so maybe why don't complain."

Sidney licks his lips, thinking it over. "That is suprising. But you could've just called me or skyped me or something. What was the point of driving all the way out here?"

Alex raises an eyebrow at him. Reaching out to brush his thumb over Sidney's bottom lip.

Oh.

Alex wants him. Drove all the way down here for him. Sidney should be happy, exstatic. This is what he sort of kind of wanted.

Why is he so scared?

"Do you not.. want..?" Alex asks, his accent deeper than usual.

"I.. I do.. but.. but.." Sidney studders. "I'm just.. not very good at this."

Alex brushes his fingers along Sidney's jaw. "Sure mystery man disagree."

Sidney closed his eyes and waited for the kiss. Hoping he was prepared and totally didn't fail.

When their lips finally met. It was soft, sweet. More than a brush of the lips but not quite a full kiss. It caught him off guard, but he wasn't when Alex's tongue touched his bottom lip.

He opens his mouth instinctively. He let Alex dominate and push him onto his back. The Russian lays on top of him, straddling his hips. He's only half laying on Sidney, reaching down to pull his shirt up some. Sidney knows what he wants, but he doesn't want to stop kissing. Alex pulls away anyways, squinting his eyes at Sidney.

"Sid." Alex groans. "Shirt."

Sidney rolls his eyes, using the moment to recatch his breath and removing their tops before going at it again.

This time it's much more ferocious. Their tongues fighting to be the leader. Sidney's hands runs through the Russian's hair while Alex hands travel around his chest. Feeling every inch of him.

His lungs feel like they're about to burst. He honestly really doesn't care, but apparently Alex wants to continue living so he breaks the kiss and moves down to Sid's neck.

He let's out a quiet moan as Alex's tongue and mouth travels along his throat and collar bone, looking for that sensitive spot. When he finds the area right underneath his earlobe and licks it, Sidney's back arches a little off the bed.

"Alex." He moans, stretching out the syllables as much as possible.

Alex continues to suck and kiss that spot, sliding his hand downs Sidney's stomach and grabbing his belt. Oh god, his pulse starts to race and he shuts his eyes. Letting out another moan.

"Sidney you- hell?"

They pull apart. Alex sitting up straight and smiling victoriously at Geno. Sidney blushes furiously and it travels all the way down to his chest.

"Hi Zhenya." Alex says.

Sidney expects Geno to flip out. To go ape shit on him and like punch the both to the death and throw their bodies in their trunk.

Instead he smiles brightly and looks at Sidney accusingly. "I am confuse. You said I no bring back pretty girls. Yet you can?" Geno asks, placing his hands on his hips. "Because Sanja is very pretty girl."

Sidney rolls his eyes. "I said that you can't fuck them on my bed. Never said you couldn't bring the back here."

"Stupid Canadians." Geno scoffs before throwing his body onto his bed, "Okay. Continue. I put in ear plungs and shut eyes. Not even here."

Alex smiles mischeviously at Sidney, who blushes. "No."

"Sid is ashamed of body. Your problem." Alex winks at Sidney, picking his shirt up off the ground and sliding it on.

"I hate you. I really do."

He hears Geno laughing from his bed and Sidney throws a pillow at him. It wasn't very hard, but Geno pretends to be hurt by rolling off his bed.

Geno stands up, holding an imaginary shot gun. "It's on now."

"You two, freaks. Am leaving now." Alex says. He stands up, bending over to press a kiss onto Sidney's lips and his sensitive spot. "Don't have to do this alone." Alex goes back to Sidney's lips, kissing him hard and with passion.

"Ew. Trying to keep down food." Geno pulls on Alex's arm, causing the kiss to break.

Alex mouths the words 'Call me' before Geno shoves him outside. He turns on Sidney, looking at him with a judgemental look.

"What?" Sidney asks. "He's better than Claude."

Geno thinks it over, but does nod. "Sure. But Sanja is.. different."

Sidney picks his shirt up off the ground. "How?"

Geno sits down on his own bed, sighing. "Claude is big, no emotion, asshole. Only wants.. sex. No strings. Sanja want more."

"You're kidding." Sidney says. Please dear god let him be kidding.

Geno puts his hands in the air. "Not say anything Sanja not want me to. But how many people would drive Toronto to Montreal just to see if someone interested when could have just waited fate to bring them together?" Geno shrugs before grabbing his towel and going to the bathroom.

Maybe Russians seriously had him or something. They always do this to him. Say things that should receive more detail, but instead they just leave. Which just makes him even more confused and frustrated.

Maybe it's just these two Russians that do that. Maybe all the others are just normal people who don't strive on ruining their best friends lives.

Maybe Alex was just being stupid and playing a joke on him or something. Then he brought Geno in on this for the ultimate betrayel. Such assholes.

If Alex really did want the... friends with benefits thing then Sidney could surely do that. It might be awkward considering it would be his first and everything. But it seriously can't be that hard.

Or if he wanted a relationship, Sidney can do that. He's had a few boyfriends. They tended to be short and horrible and.. weird. He even dated a girl before. Never again. It always ended with him having a broken heart wether he cared about the person or not. Then he'd have to go home to his parents and pretend it never even happened.

At least now he doesn't have to worry about his parents anymore. He sister when she turns into an adult, but that won't happen for another five years.

Sidney could surely get used to being with Alex. Even if that meant having to deal with those annoying Russians while he does. He could -definitely- get used to kissing him.

He feels his cock twitch in his pants. Sidney inhaled and exhaled as evenly as he could manage. He honestly doesn't remember being this hard. When he thinks about the way Alex's tongue along his neck and in his mouth, it's hard not to be that hard.

To distract himself, he pulls out his phone. He skims through his contacts until he finds Pat's name. He thinks it over before sending a simple 'didnt go well.'

'How bad?' Pat replies.

'Gonna need a new last name.'

'Sorry.'

Since Pat is the most boring person in the world (and possibly the most unplugged) he decides to text Mario the same news. Around ten minutes later, he receives a lengthy message back.

'Sid, I'm sorry. Truly. If your parents choose to disown you, then that's their problem. You are a great kid and who you want to spend ur nights with is not ur fault. I love u. Always will. Of u need a new last name, sure there are lots. Practically anything should sound good with sidney. I know one that starts with an L that you may be interested in :) ur parents will probably end up getting interviewed and annouce this on tv and then it will be a disaster. so we'll deal with this after tomorrows game. get some rest, no wories.'

He smiles to himself, letting a singular tear fall. He'll be strong, no more. 'Okay, love u 2'.

Geno finally gets out of the shower. He wears only a towel and his hair drips with water.

"Look better than Sanja." Geno jokes.

Sidney gives him a light chuckle before brushing brightly and jogging into the bathroom. Now he has two things to jerk off to.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Geno keeps giving Sidney stupid looks every time he can. Wether it's him just suggestively wagging his eyebrows or giving Sidney a bewildered look while they practice, it's there. It's funny at first, having an inside joke. Then when some people start to notice it gets.. awkward. Fast.

"Hey uh G, Sid. What is with all the.. faces?" Duper asks as soon as they enter the locker room after morning's practice.

Geno smiles at Sidney. "Why don't tell them Sid?"

Sidney narrows his eyes at this stupid Russian he calls his friend. "There isn't anything to tell."

"Does Sid have a new boyfriend?" Flower asks, leaning on Tanger's shoulder.

Sidney blushes instantly. "What.. I.. I haven't had one in a while."

"And Claude no boyfriend?" Geno looks way to amused.

"No. He's not, never has been and never will be." Sidney says defensively. "Why are you people so interested in my love life anyway?"

Kuni places a hand on Sidney's shoulder. "Because everyone here thought the only thing that got you off was hockey. We are. all very happy to see that isn't true." Kuni slaps him on the back. "Also if he breaks your heart we know who to beat up."

Brooks pokes Sidney's cheek for absolutely no reason (probably just because he's Brooks and that's what Brooks does). Sidney pushes past all of them and goes to his locker. Seriously, why do these guys care so much?

"Guys, I'm fine." Sidney sighs, sitting down to untie his skates.

James sits down next to Sidney. "Sid, we know you're. fine. We just.. want to know that no one is.. taking advantage of you just because you're.. you." James sighs. "What I'm saying is, whether these dumbasses say it out loud or not, we love you. And we just want to protect our greatest investment."

Great, now his eyes are watering. "Maybe you guys should be protecting me from your horrible play on the ice." James pretends to look offended as Sidney keeps insulting him. "But if we win tonight, -maybe- I'll believe you."

Geno kicks Sidney in the shin, giving him a very serious and dangerous look. "Then we meet boyfriend."

Sidney rolls his eyes, this guy is relentless on meeting someone that doesn't exist. "Yeah sure. Whatever."

Geno kicks him again, more like a tap. Before walking away, he mouths the word 'Sanja' and smirks at Sidney.

Why does he like the worst possible Russians in the world?

No one really says a word to him about it, or anything at all really. Must have decided that was enough chirping for one day. Then again, they -never- stop teasing (especially not him).

He purposefully undresses slowly, stopping after removing his pads to respond to the million texts from Alex.

It's actually only fifty-three (which is close to a million as far as Sidney's concerned). They mainly consists of Alex wanting to know all of his secrets, making dirty jokes, and some say something in Russian.

There's like ten pictures. Seven of them are just pictures of Alex doing something unintelligent while trying to look badass. It's actually quite hilarious because he's so confident. Then there are two of some. male strippers with the caption 'wanna join?'. Sidney shakes it off, Alex is annoying.

The last one is.. different. It's still Alex is just.. It's in a hotel room, the lights are off. He's sitting there, shirtless and emotionless. There is a caption underneath it, 'thinking of you.' Sidney doesn't get it at first. Then he sees it.

The tip of Alex's dick, his finger on the hole.. Sidney backs out of it quickly, heart beating furiously.

This sex thing is overrated.

He scrolls back down, looking to see if anyone had more interest in him than his Russian lunatic.

Sidney is surprised to see one.. from Taylor. He locks his phone. Dealing with his sister should be done in private. Not in the middle of a locker room while he procrastinates for no reason.

"Sid, up. Need shower." Geno says, flicking Sid's ear. "Sanja no like smelly Sid."

Sidney stands up, rubbing his ear. "Bitch."

He does end up taking his shower, the only other person in there is Pascal, who just smiles at him (while he stands there naked) and towels off. Sidney returns the smile and takes his own shower.

Everyone is basically gone by the time he gets out. Well except Duper, who's parading around the place without clothes on.

He leans against Sidney's locker, satisfied look on his face."So.. like what you see?"

"Excuse me?" Sidney asks.

Pascal slaps him on the shoulder. "Just messing with you Sid. I know you like 'em Russian."

Pascal winks at Sidney before -skipping- away. Sidney shakes his head. Why couldn't he have been like.. given normal human beings for teammates?

As he carries his bag on his shoulder and walks out to his car, he wonders what it would be like on another team. What team would he even go to?

Obviously he would love nothing more than to stay in Pennsylvania. The Flyers are absolutely not an option. *sad face*

He wouldn't mind living in Chicago. Then he'd get to see Jonny and Kaner all the time!

But then that would mean he'd have to see Jonny and Kaner -all the time-. Not to mention that Jonny would force Sidney to room with him. (Who would be captain in that situation?)

He would move back to Canada, but none of the teams there are actually playing any good. So that's not an option.

Then he comes up with a brilliant idea that has his smiling as he texts Alex.

'what if I was drafted to the caps?'

He's still smiling and even laughing at himself a bit (honestly, he probably looks like one of these deranged, psychopathic lunatic/serial killer) as he gets in his Range Rover and drives (dangerously speeding, he's lucky he didn't run over someone's grandma or something) and gets home faster than usual.

Sidney isn't one for texting and driving (he is one for trying to crash his favorite car though). Once he's inside Alex calls him, Sidney picks it up and he's interrupted before he can even breathe.

"Why would say such thing? Are they talk about trading you? Agent want new team, more press coverage?" Alex's voice is harsh and takes Sidney by surprise.

"Uh no." Sidney replies.

Alex sighs. "Okay. Then why ask?"

"Well I was just thinking about how my teammates are a bunch of dick holes. So I was wondering what team I would go to if I was to go to another team." Sidney explains as he flicks on his bedroom light. "I eliminated my first choices then it came down to your team and I kinda thought it was funny."

Alex chuckles at him. It's barely audible, but it's. there. So it's a victory.

"So, what would you do?"

Alex stays silent, the sound of his breathing the only noise he makes. "Would fuck you every night."

Sidney grips onto the phone tightly as a blush creeps all over his face. "I was talking about playing together genius. Not... that."

Alex groans. "Life doesn't revolve around hockey Sid."

Bullshit. "Well then what does it revolve around, oh Great One."

He can hear the grin on Alex's face. "What you wearing?"

Stupid question. "Uh.. pants, shirt.. You know ... basic human clothes."

Alex groans, loudly. "I meant specifics sweetheart."

Sidney blushes (he's an idiot). "Well... those pants I wore.. that night. Um, this really cute shirt, it's black, I like never wear it but I was kind of running out of time this morning. Oh and-"

"How can you be sexy person like you yet uncreative?" Alex's voice is strained like he's struggling not to laugh or something.

"I can be.. seductive." Sidney defends himself.

And there is the laugh. "Prove it and I kid no more tonight."

Sidney rolls his shoulders, taking in a deep breath and lowers the volume of his voice to a whisper and the pitch a little lower than usual. "I wish I could be wearing you right now."

Alex takes in a sharp breath. "Oh really?"

"I've always.. adored how you play on the ice. Always so fast, so quick." Sidney smiles at himself. "Promise you'll go slow on me okay. I want it to.. last as long as possible. I want to be shaking before I go over the edge."

Alex moans. "Make it last into next year if that what takes."

(It's funny because the year started only a couple months ago.)

"I want to body check my dick into you. That alright?" Alex's voice waivers.

That actually sounds horrible and very, very painful and something Sidney never wants to experience. Ever. "Make sure you'll get suspended for it."

Alex moans again, this time much louder. "Sid, best boyfriend.. ever."

Sidney slowly sinks down to his bed, phone pressed to his ear. "B...B-boyfriend?"

"Yes?" He hears shuffling on the other end that has Sidney assuming Alex was laying down. "Do not.. consider us boyfriends?"

"Well.. we never technically.. talked about it." Sidney replies. "Geno said that you wanted to be.. or something like that. But we never officially talked about it."

"Zhenya talk to you about us?" Alex's voice raises slightly.

Sidney rolls his eyes, drama queen. "Well yeah. He's both of our friends and wanted to know we wouldn't hurt each other. So he kinda .. Y'know.. said things that showed you cared and.. stuff."

Sidney hears a loud thud and he grimaces. That would be kinda funny if he fell of something.

"Sorry. Dropped phone." Alex apologizes quickly. "Um.. that is good Zhenya say things um.. how about we Skype tomorrow talk about things in detail."

"Yeah sure."

Alex sighs. "So did you want to.. finish?"

"Well," Sidney drops his voice again. "Only if you want to."

Alex moans again, much softer and a little nervous.

They talk like that for another fifteen minutes. Sidney has no idea where any of that stuff came from. (And it's not like he -doesn't- know about sex. He went through school, had to endure sex ed. Not to mention he's a -guy- who has -guy- friends. It's really not that hard to figure out). After Alex.. masturbates or whatever, he seems a lot nicer, his voice soft and calm. It's really a surprising change from his usual cock, shit eating voice he's accustom to.

Sidney can get used to this. And he will.

And tomorrow morning, he can truly start. He can truly be him.

He prays that maybe Alex can do the same. Then again, his homeland won't find that as comforting as Canada will (or already does).

Notes:

This was meant to be funny and sexy (in ways only Sid can be). I'm sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

The game against the Leafs was ... amusing. Sidney and Geno kept teasing them by suddenly slowing down, or coming to a complete stop, before sprinting off again. Even Colby was about to throw down his gloves at Sidney. He offered his former teammate and his first best friend an apologetic smile and Colby would understand.

Colby always does. He knows that sometimes Sidney needs to not only win, but enjoy himself. Especially during a hard time.

Everyone else on the team didn't understand him to well. Specifically Phil Kessel. Every time the guy got on the ice the same time as Sidney, the captain was brought to the ice or slammed into the boards a little to excessively.

The game ended four to none. Nothing was going to end his happiness.

Colby pulled Sidney into a one arm hug and kissed the side of his temple Instead of giving him his handshake like a normal person.

Instead of going out and getting completely hammered, they stay in. It's a rare occasion. (Sidney isn't complaining. Everyone knows that he doesn't like to get drunk). He's more than surprised when everyone crams into his and Geno's room and looks at Sidney with impatient eyes.

"Boyfriend." Geno says.

Sidney rolls his eyes. "I told you that I don't have a boyfriend. Give it a rest."

Flower pulls Sidney down next to him. (Ugh. Flower is sitting on his bed.) "You are the worst liar in the history of life, Sid. You're not bullshitting us."

Sidney sighs. "Oh my god. Alex and I are not together yet. Jeez."

Geno flicks Sidney in the ear and crosses his arms over his chest. "No talk yet?"

"Yes we talked. But-"

"Wait. Alex who?" Flower asks, looking very interested in the conversation (this is an accomplishment because Flower isn't really interested in anything Sidney says unless it's his personal life, and until now Sidney never really had one).

Brooks dives onto Geno's bed and onto the Russian. "That would be funny if it was Ovechkin. Then you and Ovie can take Sid home and make him part of your secret Russian mafia or whatever." Brooks says as he pokes Geno in the side.

Sidney blushes brightly while Geno smirks at him like he's a fucking genius.

"Oh my god, its Ovechkin, isn't it?" Flower asks, matching Geno's smirk.

After constant poking of his face and sides, Sidney caves. Confessing they are doing.. Whatever it is they're doing. Making it very clear how it's not officially a relationship and not to tell anyone anything.

Then Sidney's laptop makes a sound. So Sidney picks it up and guess what! Alex is calling him on Skype. Just because they're a bunch of assholes, everyone starts making cooing noises and Flower steals away his laptop and answers it.

"Hi Ovie." Flower says.

Brooks and Kuni have Sidney restrained, but he can still see Alex's startled expression. "Hi Marc-Andre. Um.. is Sid there?"

Flower cocks his head to the side and offers a warm smile. "No need for the full name introductions. As Sid's soon-to-be husband, the team and I insist you call us by our nicknames. So please call me, Flower."

Alex looks truly uncomfortable and slightly scared. He does blush and smile, his voice cocky as ever. "I remember that for next time we play."

James looks over Flower's shoulder and offers the same smile as the goalie. "But if you even dare breaking Sid's precious little heart. We'll come down to whatever shit hole that you line in and rip out all of your organs, excluding the heart and brain. Then, we'll keep you on life support while we feed them to you. After that we'll cut you up and send you to your family piece by piece. So if you don't have some serious feelings for him or something, then you better back the fuck down, eh?"

Alex laughs. He looks a little frightened (but who wouldn't be?), but still like his usual self. "Wouldn't bother with him if I didn't already."

Sidney elbows Brooks in the guy (lightly) and snatches his laptop. "Leave."

Flower and James look very pleased with themselves as they join the shuffle of feet exiting the room. When the door is shut, Geno looks at him with a raised eyebrow before grabbing his things to take a shower.

"I'm sorry." Sidney says when they're alone.

Alex laughs, looking pleased. "Kidding me? Wish my teammates that protective."

That surprises Sidney. "I'm sure none of them have to worry about some girl ruining your entire life. And because you've probably had a lot of girlfriends and.. they aren't surprised to find out you actually have a life outside your profession."

"I only had one girlfriend, back when start in KHL. Was horrible, never do it again." Alex says, looking all to pleased with himself. "Does it bother you, me being with pretty girls?"

Yes, in every single way. "What? Of course not."

Alex gives him a goofy smile before making his face go all serious. "Can we have serious talk now?"

"Of course. What's wrong?"

Alex opens his mouth, letting it hang open before shutting it again. He does this for a few minutes before he sighs, rubbing his face. "Did you tell them.. I boyfriend?"

"No. Geno was trying pretty hard to make me though."

Geno (conveniently) walks out of the bathroom, wearing only his boxers and a smirk. Sidney just glares at him until Alex calls his attention.

"Thing is.. I have .. great feelings for you. Sure Zhenya already told you, because he is traitor." Alex scoffs.

Geno smiles, saying something in Russian.

Alex just rolls his eyes and turns the conversation back to him and Sidney. "I was wondering if.. you had.. wanted to tell them we.. together."

Sidney can't help the blush that appears on his face (or the fact that he feels like Taylor). "Yeah. Sure. I'd love to."

Geno kicks him in the shin and grins. "See. Now you have boyfriend."

"Oh my god, fuck you." Sidney kicks him back.

"Ow!" Geno complains, holding his knee. "Sanja, he kick me!"

"Call me immature." Alex scoffs, rolling his eyes and smiling. "I sit here, try to have normal, adult conversation. Then you two kick each other. Not very hard since both are whimps. But seriously."

Geno says something in Russian that makes Alex blush furiously and start spewing out a string of words that mush together and don't stop until the phrase does. Geno looks very happy with himself but says no more.

Sidney is offly confused. "What?"

Alex blushes even more and respons quickly. "Nothing."

Geno mouths 'tell you later' before laying down on his bed.

He is fed up with this already. "I am so going to learn Russian that way you two can't have secret conversations."

Alex is calm for the most part. "Then I can't talk about pretty face without you getting all.. blush." Alex smiles and starts to unbotton his shirt.

Geno rolls his eyes and shakes his head. "Such bullshit Sanja."

"Who invited you in conversation?" Alex asks.

Geno raises an eyebrow. "'Do I need to go to Flower?"

Ovie waggles his eyebrows, which makes Sidney blushes even more than he already was. "No." Sidney responds.

Alex frowns and his shoulders slump. "So disappointed Sid. We suppose to skype sex. Then you let Russian ass ruin it."

"That wasn't going to happen anyways."

Geno says something obnoxiously loud in his language, which leaves Sidney assuming is the Russian version of the word burn.

Alex spats something back before wishing Sidney a good night and sweet dreams. Sid finds his stomach fluttering as he says it back. They stare at each other for like five minutes before they end the call simultaneously.

"Love sick puppies. So gross." Geno says as he slips under his cover.

Sid mutters French cuss words toward his teammate as he enters the bathroom. The whole time he showers he smiles, and it doesn't go away until he sleeps.

That's when all the nightmares start.

Sidney is.. unusually hot. Especially since he's standing in the middle of the hockey rink wearing his practice gear. There isn't anybody in there. Not even Mario, Dan, or Geno (who often stays late with Sidney). No fans or press or photographers. Nobody.

When he calls out, he can't. His voice gets stuck in his lungs and a choking sound echos around the room. Sid blinks. He couldn't of made that sound, did he?

Then he hears a voice.

'Hey look! It's Cindy, the choking faggot!'

Sidney recognizes that voice from anywhere. Tod Blakely, his high school bully.

'Only my son gets to call me that.'

He tries to move toward the sound of his dad's voice, but his feet seem to be glued to the ice.

'Pictures have spread all over Twitter of you sitting in a bar kissing another man before abruptly leaving.'

'Cindy Crosby, the crybaby.'

'Take another dive, bitch.'

'You're not good enough. You never will be.'

All these insults get louder and louder, overlapping each other. Sidney croutches, covering his ears with his hands and squeezes his eyes shut.

They're not true, they're not true, he keeps telling himself.

They are true. Everyone is going to know, everyone will hate him.

When Sidney wakes up in the morning, Geno's sitting by his feet.

Geno holds out a cup of coffee. "Alright?"

Sidney sits up, taking the cup with a gracious nod. "Yes, just a bad dream."

"Normally get them when nervous too?" Geno asks, his eyes buldged with concern.

Sidney had no idea that Geno got nightmares, probably nothing like his. "Uh.. yeah. Yeah, I guess so."

Geno nods, looking down into his coffee. "Nervous about today then?"

"Yeah. Of course."

Geno nods, staring at the creamy liquid in his cup with the green ring around Geno's eyes slightly thicker than usual.

Sidney can't take it anymore. "Is there something wrong that you want to talk about?"

Geno's eyes flick up to look into Sidney's, biting his lip. "Uh.. well... um.. It's just that I'm." Sidney takes a drink of his heavenly liquid. "I'm uh.. bisexual. Right word, yes?"

Sidney swallows and clears his throat to keep from spraying it everywhere. "As in.. you like both male and female."

Geno nods. He looks so nervous, and scared. Really scared.

"Why.. Why are you telling me this now?" Sidney asks. "I mean, I'm glad that you did. But it seems kind of.. random."

Geno gives a half smile. "I know. You come out today. So I figure, if you need support. I help." Geno gulps. "And also.. you get involved with Sanja. So I also think, both are best friend. Can't live without either. Since I date Sanja before, I give you tips on him. You simple person, so I give tips on you. That way makes life easy for everyone."

"That's really considerate." Then it kind of smacks Sidney in the face. "Wait, you -dated- Ovie?"

Geno looks surprised. "Yes. Why does matter?"

"Why does it matter?" Sidney repeats using his proper English. "It matters because I would have liked to known that my best friend and my boyfriend dated before now. I would also like to know how long, when, why, and if it was serious."

Geno takes Sidney's cup, placing it down onto the bedside table before holding his captain's hands. "We dated back when I first join KHL. Ovie big star, was lucky. It was only year and half. Was mainly just about sex. Then I met Oksana and we stop." Geno rubs Sidney's knuckles. "Wasn't serious at all. Just attraction then. All feelings had then gone. No.. relationship chemisty. You two have.. good chemistry. Belong together."

Sidney blinks to try and clear the mist building in front of his eyes. "If you.. hadn't met Oksana, would you guys still be together?"

Geno chuckles at this. "No. He would dump me when first set eyes on you."

Sidney blushes. "Thank you for telling me that." Ugh, sappy relationship stuff. Ew. "So, you said you had tips."

Geno perks up, looking very excited. "Sanja.. he likes to spoil. Thinks that he must buy you things to make happy. Nothing to expensive, unless he really like you. Then you probably get car or house."

Sidney laughs. "For a special occasion? Or just because?"

"Just because."

Sidney sighs. "Great."

Geno smiles. "He also is really.. touchy. Especially in public."

Sidney rolls his eyes. "You act like I've never met Alex before."

Geno thinks this over before nodding. "He also really like pet name. Something unique, special. Makes him feel happy. Like inside joke."

Sidney is.. more than shocked by this. Is there a word for that?

"He also try to be very nice." Geno rolls his eyes. "Even if bad attempt. He have good heart."

Someone's phone starts to buzz, so they both grab them off the bedstand.

"Pat." Sidney greets his agent via his phone.

"You might want to get ready. Need you here in an hour." Pat replies.

Ugh. "Okay. See you soon."

He spends the next half hour getting dressed and begging Geno to kill him. The Russian was watching with fascination, constantly asking how Sidney could fit into tight pants with such a big ass. (And everytime Sidney would blush and complain that it's not -that big-. Which would just get him laughed at more.)

Around twelve thirty, he got to the Penguins' press conference room. Fifteen mimites early.

"Oh uh.. Hi Sidney. Wasn't expecting you so soon." Pat says, giving him a once over.

Sidney nods, because he knows. "Okay so, what's the game plan?"

Pat looks at him confused for a second before he remembers that Sidney is an interviewing robot and has to be told what he can or can not answer. "Well, we're going to have you go out there, explain what happened. You'll answer twenty questions. Preferably nothing about your family, life in Canada, Claude, and past or recent boyfriends. Okay?"

He can do this. "Okay."

"Great," Pat says. "So uh.. if you wanna get this over and done with, I'll go check if everyone is ready. Or you can just follow me around."

"As much as I love you Pat, I'd probably have a mental breakdown having to deal with your life, no offense."

Pat laughs calmly. "That's why I'm the agent and you're the robot. Because I could never do interviews like you do."

After a gentle pat of his client's cheek, Brisson disappears into another room. Leaving Sidney there, all alone. Nothing but a man and his overactice imagination.

Then Pat comes back two seconds later to practically drag Sidney into his chair and begin the interview.

Sidney takes in a deep breath. "Okay, so to begin I'd like to say that I will not be disclosing the other person in this photo's name, anything to include my parents, or anyone back in Canada." He tries to resist the urge to wipe his hands all over his pants. "Obviously the person leaving in the photo is.. me. And I'm very clearly kissing a man." He licks his lips. "My reasoning for this interview is to come out.. as being the only active homosexual NHL player currently." Now the hard part. "Any questions?"

Pretty much everyone stares at him in total shock, the only sound in the room being the flashes of the few cameras capturing the rare moment of silent reporters.

"Uh, I know you said that the name of the man in the photo." Brad says. "I was just wondering if you two are together or were at the time."

"No, we are not and were not."

"Do you generally meet random men in a bar and kiss them?" a burnette, Brazillian woman from CNN asks.

"That question is highly innapropriate." Sidney says. "And no. I never do that. It was a .. spur of the moment."

"How often do you hook up with strangers?" a guy with black hair from ESPN gives Sidney a flirty smile.

"Uh, no." He really hopes he isn't blushing.

The next seventeen questions are basically the same as the first three. It's really quite pathetic. They all probably thought up questions for him to deny it rather than confirm it.

When Pat finally ends it, Sidney lets out a sigh of relief. Brisson slaps him on the back and tells him how good he did. Then forces him into a meeting with the athority for the next two hours about how he'll have to present himself properly (it was really just Ray telling him how to act while Mario and Pat try not to laugh their asses off, and Dan.. he doodles on a piece of paper before throwing it at Ray, which angers him to a point where his face turns red).

He makes it back to the hotel without incident. Geno was laying on Sid's bed, watching some Russian war hero movie with tears in his eyes. He pulls Sidney onto the bed with him and cries on his captain's shoulder everytime someone dies and after it ends.

"Uh G?" Sidney asks when his shirt starts to feel wet.

Geno pulls back. His eyes puffy and the thin green ring expands a little. He licks his lips, opening his mouth a few times before he just closes it, looking into Sidney's eyes.

The door creaks open as the familiar smell of Chinese fills the room. Sidney turns his head, looking into Alex's eyes. They look shocked (and hurt?). Geno points to the TV as the name of the movie comes on and dissolves away.

Alex closes the door behind him, tight smile on his lips. "You watch without me?"

"Didn't know you were coming. Would've waited." Geno looks up at Alex innocently as he pulls Sidney closer to make room on the bed.

Alex rolls his eyes, placing the bag of food on the floor next to the bed before cuddling up it. He kisses Sidney gently on the forehead before laying on his shoulder.

"Don't you have a game tonight?" Sidney asks.

"No, we have night off. Fly back to D.C. in morning." Alex pokes Geno's red nose as the other Russian sniffles.

The trio end up watching a few action movies that Geno randomly decided to buy. Then there's two Russian movies, both romance. Then they end up watching the NHL highlights from the previous night.

"Look so good on ice, Sid." Geno says, poking Sidney's stomach.

Geno and Alex exchange a few words in Russian, probably aruging over something like idiots. Eventually, Geno throws his hands up in the air, saying a word that sounds insulting before going into the bathroom.

"You are definitely teaching me Russian so you two can't keep doing this to me." Sidney says. "That or I'll call Sasha and make up a new language to have secret conversations with."

Alex props himself up so he can look directly into Sidney's eyes. "Why does bother you?"

Sidney resists the need to flick him in the ear. "Obviously whatever you're saying is to important to be said in English. That or you just don't want me to hear it. So you're keeping secrets from me, and that's not a good way to start a relationship."

Alex smiles shyly, running a warm hand just under the hem of Sidney's shirt. "What is good way?"

Sidney blushes. "Ugh, stop trying to change the subject."

Alex pecks the tip of Sidney's nose. "Sorry." Ovie frowns. "I just tell Zhenya stop flirting with you. Don't like it."

That is easily the stupidest thing Sidney has ever heard in his life. There is absolutely no way in hell that his best friend ever flirted with him, especially now, since he's taken. It's just not humanly possible and therefore the subject is being changed.

"We should find Geno a mate."

Alex laughs hardly at his choice of wording (is that not what a life partner is for? to mate! come on people.). "Like who?"

"I don't know. What's his type?" Because you would know, he almost adds.

Alex thinks this over, "Mixture of you and me."

"Trying to be serious sweety." Sidney says, rolling his eyes.

Ovie looks offended, "I am! We do.. Twilight! You be Bella, I be Edward, he be Jacob. We make male Renesme. All is good."

"That's a deal."

Geno comes back in. He face is a little flustered and his mouth is in a thin line. He mumbles something in Russian before grabbing a white container out of the bag Ovie brought. Alex says something back that makes Geno smile. Sidney lets it slide because they need to have personal space (couldn't they have done it some other time).

The door busts open, an excited James Neal walks in, six pack in hand.

"Guess what sexy penguin was just on the television." James says. His eyes scan the couple on the bed. "Hi Ovie. How pleasant to see you."

Alex looks very uncomfortable. "Hello James."

Nealsy looks over the room. "Well, I wasn't aware that we could have open orgies while G stands in the corner eating Chinese."

Geno blushes furiously, shifting his feet as he used his chopstick to pick up a very interesting looking noodle (it actually wasn't interesting, but G has the mind of a two year old so they pretend it is).

James flops down on Geno's bed, him and the Russian form this weird cuddling thing that looks a lot more like a couple of huddling penguins (no pun intended).

They watch Sidney on tv, well only James and Geno get to. Alex keeps poking Sidney everywhere, especially in his sides and stomach. He keeps swatting his hands away because Ovie keeps trying to get to his pants and there is no way that is going to happen (well, not at the moment).

"Mr. Crosby, what is your response on your son's coming out?"

Sidney snaps his head in the direction of the tv, his eyes starting to water. He's prayed every time he could that maybe he changed his mind. That maybe he could still have a family.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a son."

The reporter looks shocked and thoroughly confused. "Yes you do. NHL superstar Sid-"

"I know who you're talking about." Troy snaps. "You see, we are a devoted family, who love each other and God. We do not allow that kind of sin to run through us." Troy turns away to head to his house. "Now, if I ever see you here again I will call the police, understood?"

Sidney squeezes his eyes shut and buries his favd into Alex's chest. The Russian's hands rub small circles on his back, James says something comforting. Sidney doesn't listen. He just tunes out everything.

His realy family hates him. His own flesh and blood finds his way of life to be morally wrong. Like it was his choice to be like this. If it was, Sidney never would've chosen this life.

Or would he?

Sidney opens his eyes, looking up into those blue eyes that he's seen so many times before. Before, they've always just been his eyes, nothing special. But now, it's so different. Nothing has changed. Nothing has happened. Yet that empty feeling on his chest seems so much more filled. Not whole, but definitely occupied.

If he had been able to choose his sexuality, and he chose to be straight. Who would he be laying with? Would he be with anybody?

Would he even be a hockey player?

Alex ends up having to leave around ten, claiming to have a curfew or whatever. And since he couldn't really explain why he was in the same hotel as Sidney Crosby without stating the obvious, it was probably a good idea.

Still, he misses the warm body laying against his as he sleeps. Even though him and Geno do share the same bed. Sometimes they understand each other's pain without words (Sidney wasn't surprised when his friend crawled into his bed and muttered soothing things into his ear until his eyes fluttered shut).

It was like twelve hours ago when they woke up laying on each other. Now, they're suiting up for their final Canadian road game against the Canadiens. Sidney usually is nervous because of the game, but today, he's nervous for a different reason.

Well, he's holding a number 87 Sidney Lemieux jersey in his hands like it's holy grail (and it might as well be). And if he goes out there and plays poorly, he'll be insulting Mario's name, hia legacy. Not to mention Sidney's own future. It's already been damaged enough, the last thing he wants is to play like shit against the worst team in the NHL wearing the name of the second greatest hockey player in history. (Falling only slightly to Wayne Gretzky).

Staal and Flower slap him on the back after he puts it on. Scuderi makes a joke that now he can move back in considering he's officially part of the family.

Assholes.

Sidney moved out after his birthday. Nathalie had begged for him to stay. He would've moved out sooner, but she just wouldn't let him go. Turning 25 was the last straw for him, even if she wanted to wait until he turned 35.

Going out onto the ice, he's greeted with the roar of the crowd, which gets even louder when they show off his new jersey.

He's got this, he can do this.

Apparently Brendon Nash and Andrei Markov got really pissed off with the welcoming the crowd gave to Sidney. Everytime either one of them was on the ice, they charged right after him, knocking him down to the ice in a manner that really should have been a penalty.

By the third quarter, the game was scoreless and Sidney had taken half of the team's hits.

Sidney passed to James, and he put it past Carey Price.

All he remembers is raising his arms in victory before he gets knocked down and everything goes black.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Jonny is really fucking pissed. He hates losing, hates losing at home, hates losing to the Red Wings. Bunch of fucking cheating pussies.

And he really fucking hates the reporters.

"Jonathan, can you tell us your opinion on Sidney Crosby coming out?"

"Jonathan, do you consider Crosby a bad image for the LGBT community?"

"Considering his recent actions, do you still consider Sidney Crosby a valued hockey player?"

"Do you think his scandal is affecting his game?"

"How does it feel having to play with a, quote from Crosby's own father, a 'queer'?"

The vein in Jonny's forehead pops out as he resists the urge to punch the reporter in the face, "How does it feel talking to one, shit face?"

Jonny pushes into the locker room. He ignores all the looks of shock as he changes and showers. He isn't in the mood to deal with this shit right now.

He's dressed in his street clothes in like ten minutes (which is like a record for him). All Jonny wants to do is leave, No more questions, no more accusations, no more hatred. He's done, done with it all.

"Jonny." Kaner's small, worried voice makes Jonny stop and face him, hands buried in his pockets.

" I know what you're going to say," Jonny begins his self rant, "What I did was stupid, reckless, careless. It was inappropriate as a captain, and I shouldn't have done it. Saying what I said was wrong, but I don't regret a damn word of it."

Kaner looks at him with those gorgeous eyes, peircing through Jonny with love and concern. Instead of speaking, Kaner cups Jonny's face and kisses him. Right there, in front of the team (and they just start clapping and hooting, Sharp even yells out 'Get it Pat!').

He doesn't think anything could dampen his mood.

That's until they all go over to Duncan Keith's house to watch the recap of that day's hockey games, just like always.

The Caps play a good game (2-1) against the Rangers. They cover the Blackhawk's loss. The Bruins blew out the Sharks. Tampa Bay actually had a decent game against the Kings, who are doing really good.

Then comes on the Penguins versus Canadiens game.

It's scoreless most of the game. Sidney (unsurprisingly) plays really well, has been all season. All his shots connect, absolutely gorgeous.

Five minutes left in the third quarter. Sidney makes one those beautiful shots to Evgeni that would make anyone swoon. Malkin taps it into the back of the net.

The whole team is so excited. Sidney is modest, throwing his arms up in the air and expecting a big group hug.

That is until Brendon Nash hits the puck and smacks Sidney directly in the face.

Jonny's air catches in his throat as he watches his best friend fall down and not get back up.

Evgeni is on the attack, pumbling Nash's face in. No one makes a move toward him. Neal skates over to Sidney, yelling at the paramedics to hurry up.

Montreal ends up winning two to one.

Jonny squeezes his eyes shut, burying his face into Kane's shoulder and willing himself not to cry.

"The faggot won't be sucking cock now, -eh-?" Nash spits into the reporter's face. Jonny looks up to watch the blood being dried off Brendon's nose before being forced into the medic's room.

Jonny presses his face into Kane's shoulder, taking in his lover's scent. It's the only thing keeping him strong, the only thing holding him together.

Sharp goes off into a rage about how bullshit all this is. That Nash should be in handcuffs and deported to a police station, not receiving medical treatment. He deserves to be punished severly. (If only they knew that a bunch of Russians were probably going to go end up murdering him slowly). And that Crosby may not be the most likable guy on the planet, but he didn't deserve that. No one does.

No one does.

...

Alex watches the recaps in utter horror. Sidney collapsing on the ground, not moving, barely breathing. He watches Zhenya beat the living shit out of Nash, something he would be doing himself if he could.

Instead, Alex grabs his phone, dialing Zhenya's number and trying to relearn how to breath.

"Sanja." Zhenya sounds exhausted.

Alex panics even more. "Is he okay?"

Zhenya sighs. "Yeah.. he's uh.. yeah. He's fine." He sounds struggled speaking his home language. "Concussion. He's done for the rest of the season and probably the beginning of the next."

"Fuck."

Zhenya's laugh is shaky and more of a painful release than anything, "I know. It's going to destroy him." He sniffles, probably rubbing his eyes. "He was so close Sanja. One more week and we'd be in the playoffs. He'd end his career high season with a long over due Cup. But now he has to spend it on the sidelines, and that's if he's allowed to get out of bed."

He can't take this. "You want me to come up there?"

"No," Zhenya resonds quickly. "I'm sure he wants to see you. But there isn't any point in trying to provoke anymore drama."

The tears start to well up in Alex's eyes, but he can't cry. He has to leave that to Zhenya, and potentially Sid. He has to be the strong one. "Okay well just.. keep me updated please."

"Of course."

Someone in the background yells Zhenya's name, probably the doctor or someone (please let it be the doctor). "Listen, I got to go. I will text you all information that I get the moment I can. I promise. Okay? I love you and I'll talk to you in the morning."

"Love you too."

Alex lets the phone drop onto his couch, covering his face into his hands. Exhaling and inhaling slowly, just like his mother taught him to do whenever he got upset and didn't want to lose control. It's effective. But nothing can heal a broken heart.

Except for the thing that broke it.

...

Geno stares at Sidney. His friend has never looked so small, so fragile. So -helpless-. It breaks his heart. Seeing him barely able to move, his mouth all but sewn shut.

All Sidney ever wanted to do was to win the Stanley Cup. To be up there with the all times greats like Wayne and Mario. So close, just a few weeks away. Then he'd be hoisting the holy grail above his head.

Instead he's laying on a hospital bed in Montreal and won't be playing for the rest of the season.

They can't do it without him. Not just because he's the captain, It's so much more than that.

Sidney is the Penguins' back bone. He supports them in everyway possible. He's always their shoulder to cry, their person to jump on. He's always there to pushes them harder, further than they'd ever go on their own.

Without him they lost a game in under four minutes. Imagine what it would be like a whole game without him.

Everyone says they want the Stanley Cup. Everyone does, it s a prestigous title to have. Just like a Super Bowl ring, a National Championship trophy, the FIFA World Cup. It's something you would like to have, but you'll live without it.

Sidney, on the other hand, needs it. He needs to feel the cool metal between his palms just like he needs air to breath. It's the only thing that will assure Sidney that it all hasn't been for nothing. That he hasn't suffered through all of this, lost his family and the respect of many, for nothing.

Geno feels like he let him down. Like he should've stepped in front of his captain and took the shot himself. Sidney wouldn't forgive him for that, but it should've been done.

It should've been him.

...

Sidney opens his eyes slowly. The room smells musty, like it hasn't been cleaned in ages. Sweat clings to his forehead, thin paper on his chest. The pillow underneath his head is unfluffed and hard. The sheets under his fingertips, rough.

He's in a hospital.

Memories flood back to him.

He remembers spending pretty much the whole day with Alex and Geno after his press conference. Then James comes in, they share Chinese until Alex has to leave and James practically passes out on Geno's bed.

Sidney remembers suiting up, playing the game against the Canadiens. He particularly remembers everyone being really pissed at him for no reason.

Then he runs over all the plays they made, ending with his pass to Geno which went into the net. Nothing comes after that. His mind draws a blank.

Weird, That's never happened.

Wait, why is he in a hospital?

Sidney turns his head poking a sleeping Geno in the face. The Russian groggily looks at him. Sidney tries to open his mouth to ask what happened, but the slight movement brings on a sharp pain to spread from his temple to the rest of his brain.

Geno stands up, spraying out fast Russian before nearly sprinting out of the room.

Sidney is confused, but he's also scared. Really scared.

The Russian comes back in a moment later, doctor in tow.

"Mr. Lemieux," Dr. Poligreno speaks with one of Jersey accents. "I am very sorry to inform you that you have a severe concussion. Before you ask, I'm expecting your returns to the ice to be at the start of the next season at the earliest."

Sidney groans, closing his eyes and hiding his face in his pillow. He really wants to be at home right now, laying in Alex's arms. Letting the sound of his voice just make the pain go away, make the bright light stop hurting so much.

"You can probably go home in a couple days," the doctor says, "but you'll have to ride on a special jet or something. Talk to make it as quiet and dark as possible."

Sidney just groans again. Words are to painful. There's no way he'll nod without making it worse. Obviously he can't just ignore the guy, that'd be rude. Believe it or not he was raised in a well mannered home. So a groan seems like a good response.

He hears some deep whispers and some shuffling. Geno sigh is frustrated.

"Mr. Malkin, you are more than able to stay with your partner past visiting hours, but he's not going to need you twenty-four seven," Dr. Poligreno asks, "I'm sure he'll be understanding if you go off and play, which you'll have to."

Sidney is about to get up and protest to the word 'partner', but the slightest movement of his head agonoizes him even more. And he's really surprised that Geno didn't make the correction. Something to talk about when the doctor leaves.

Geno sits down on the chair next to Sidney's bed. The red puffiness surrounding his eyes has dulled down a little, but you'd have to be blind not to see it. "Anything you need?"

"Why didn't you tell him we aren't partners?" Sidney asks before he can think about the consequences.

Geno gives a half hearted smile. "Listed me as next of kin, being 'just friends' not option on list. Obviously not relative. So was only choice."

Sidney has a funny thought. "We should tell Alex."

That was probably the lamest attempt at humor Sidney has ever had, but Geno finds it funny either way. Then again, Geno finds everything that's meant to be a joke. funny, so Sidney tells him that.

"I do not find everything funny," Geno objects. "I know you try, try hard. Know what you're trying to archive. So I laugh, make you smile. All matters."

Sidney is about to roll his eyes, but thankfully stops himself. He remembers the last concussion he had and he did that once. Easily the worst thing he's ever experienced (well, besides this).

Still, Geno looks troubled. Like he's having a mental battle with himself.

"G, what's wrong?"

Geno literally almost bursts into tears, very close to. But he does hold them back while he spends the next hour trying his hardest to explain how he wishes he stepped in front of Sidney and taken the puck to his head. And how this was supposed to be their year, the year they won the Cup. How they can't do it without Sidney being on the ice. Geno is so disappointed in himself, he takes all the blame.

Now it's Sidney's turn not to cry from both the pain and Geno's heartbreaking words. "Geno, don't you ever fucking say that again. There's nothing you could've or should've done."

Geno rubs his eyes, pulling out his phone. "Sanja pissed."

Sidney perks up at Alex's name. "You.. you talked to Alex? When?"

"Few hour ago." Geno yawns, trying to hide the small movement with his hand.

"We play the Kings next and then the Blackhawks before the season ends, right?" Sidney asks, "Well you should go back to the hotel and get packed wouldn't want to disappoint Brooks." (since Brooks is the favorite alternate captain that sort of makes him captain in Sidney's abscence).

Geno blushes, looking down at his phone. "They gave me 'A' too. Then everyone say they like me more."

Sidney smiles, or at least tries to. "That's good. You deserve it."

At that time a nurse comes in, hooking Sidney up to a bag thing while explaining that it's morphine. Then telling Geno that it will make Sidney sleep a lot and that he'd be totally fine to leave his partner in their capable hands.

Geno does get up, slowly and stiffly. "I win for you." He says before pressing a kiss to Sidney's forehead and disappearing.

"He's not actually my partner." Sidney tells the nurse.

She giggles, going slightly pink in the face, "I know. Not all the good ones are gay."

He wants to make the correction that they -are-. But he can't because Geno would probably be pissed and because she bounced off.

Women. No wonder he could never like them.

He lets his eyes slip close, his lids shading him from the harsh light. Sidney feels empty, like a piece of him has broken off and floated away. His chest is hollow and everything feels so.. so.. wrong.

He hasn't talked to Alex in at least twenty-four hours. Which is probably the longest time since their.. feelings or whatever came out.

It sucks, it really fucking sucks.

Sidney hasn't realized before how much of an impact that Alex has had on his life. How the silly texts, the meaningless phone calls, or the hours they'd spend on Skype talking about nothing important. It's amazing how you truly never know how good something is until it's gone.

And it's not technically.. gone. It's just unavailable at the moment. He'll have it back sooner or later.

He hopes it's a lot sooner rather than later.

It's really quite a shocking feeling to think that your views on people can change so quickly. A year ago, Alex was someone Sidney tolerated, for Geno. Merely an aquantince, nothing more. And Sidney was more or less convinced Ovie just liked making fun of him because it was so easy, or he tolerated Sidney for Geno as well. It's like the Russian was common ground.

Yet now, Alex is the only thing that matters to him. The only thing he can think of and the only thing he's going to think of.

He really hopes that maybe the concussion or something is really messing with his mind right now. Because thinking like this could be dangerous to everyone. Even it's about someone you lo-

Okay, he's not going there.

He tries thinking of happy thoughts that don't involve Alex. But there aren't any. So he lays there, imagining the breathing of the Russian hot against his neck and the warmth of his sleeping body encasing Sidney's. It's a soothing hallucination. Probably a little disturbing, but it puts him to sleep.

And it's not weird that he has a dream where he gets married in Moscow.

Notes:

I'm sorry if this is weird, choppy or awkward. My mind has been.. wandering onto other much more important chapters. And I also wanted to do a little explaining.

For anyone who didn't get the picture. Nash hit the puck at Sidney's helmey, which led to his concussion. I couldn't think of a .. better thing than that. It was originally going to be the puck that broke his jaw. But then I decided a concussion would probably be better for the storyline. So, there was some adjusting.

Before writing this chapter, I realized I wasn't doing a lot of Jonny/Kaner in here. And I decided just to give him the spotlight. Then I decided to do the same with Alex and Geno just to lengthen this thing out and to spread out the horizon on people's hidden opinions and stuff. It's not going to happen often, but if I decided it's necessary then I'll do it.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

Laying in his bed, Sidney is trying seriously hard not to bang his head on the wall. For whatever reason, he's not allowed to drive yet. So he has to wait for Alex to come back before they can go watch the Caps' game. It's been like an eternity and longer. What could be taking him so long?

Sidney resolves to laying on his stomach, cheek on the pillow while he waits for the Russian to appear somewhere.

"Uh Sid?"

He sits up, turning to face Alex. He has a.. big white box in his hand.

"What's that?" Sidney asks, chewing on the interior of his cheek.

Alex smiles, sitting on the foot of the bed, "Is for you."

Sidney gently takes the box in his hands, setting it on his lap. He really hopes that this isn't one of those random, fancy gifts that Alex likes to give.

He has to open it though. So he does. Peeling off the tape slowly before lifting the lid to look at the jersey.

Correction. Look at Alex's Washington Capitals jersey.

Alex bites his lip, looking at Sid expectantly.

He's at a loss for words. "I.. I.. Thank you." Sidney does the only thing he can think of. Which is kiss Alex's mouth.

Alex pulls apart first. "You like?"

Sidney smiles, pulling it out of the box. "I -love- it." He stops smiling, giving Alex an all-bussines look. "Why?"

The Russian looks at him puzzled as if he should already know. "Be easier to spot you."

Sidney slightly rolls his eyes. "Did you forget we're in D.C. and a bunch of people will be wearing your jersey?"

Alex offers a small smile. "No one in box will."

"Alex," Sidney whines. "We talked about this. My terms for going to your game are that I have to sit and the stands and I don't receive any special treatment that would make me noticable."

Alex grabs Sidney's hand. Massaging it with his light touch. "You know how loud crowds are. Concussion no like." He tapes his nogin for emphasis. "So we made special box. Noise, not as loud. Can see out, but cameras no see in. Perfect."

Sidney groans. This is why he hates Geno. He was -supposed- to fly back to Pittsburgh, spend the rest of his concussion in peace. Geno decides that 'bring him home' actually means 'change the flight to D.C. without telling him until we get to his boyfriend's house, then spring the news onto him and almost get Geno's face clawed off until Alex calmly kisses him on the mouth.. in public.. on his front porch.'

Then again, he'd be laying at home, not talking to anyone, not allowed to do anything if Geno hadn't brought him here.. Still. He should've been told.

Alex coaxes Sidney to put it on. He's very reluctant to do so. It's not that he wouldn't love to wear Alex's jersey any day of the week, but he's afraid of being asked about it. And Sidney's pretty sure that Alex is purposefully trying to get outed, so he's not going to keep his mouth shut (plus he likes to boast about everything). Not to mention he's being very pushy and persistent.

He slides into Alex's Mercedes SL65 AMG. It's a lot different than his own car. Which is probably just collecting dust on Sidney's drive way in Pitt. His poor baby. Apparently no one decided he might need it, or just want to look at it. So rude.

Alex is easily the most reckless driver Sidney has ever met in his life. He's trying not to, it's evident the way he blushes with embarrasment when he makes a sharp left turn.

Sidney does feel bad, so he rests his hand on Alex's arm. "Geno's driving is a lot worse."

Alex holds in his laugh all the way until they arrive at the Verizon Center. Even then it's only a light chuckle.

Alex looks real nervous. Like someone who's about to head into battle. And maybe he is. It really depends on who they're playing. Sidney realizes with a shock that he doesn't know the opponent. Obviously it's meant to be a surprise since Alex didn't bother to tell him.

It's probably the Flyers. He brought him here to watch Alex beat down Sidney's rival team. That makes perfect sense.

Well it's a Pennsylvanian team. Just not the Flyers.

Geno pulls Sidney into a bone crushing hug. "Sid!"

"Oh my god, Sid! You fucking traitor." Flower says, patting the name Sidney's back.

Sidney glares at Alex. "It is so -not- my fault."

Alex just smiles with pride as he pries Geno off of his boyfriend, "Zhenya, going to kill him."

Geno puts his hand on his hips, looking Sidney over. "Flower right. Sid, big traitor."

"I am being forced to do this, thank you very much." Sidney retorts.

Paulie squeezes James's shoulder. "He almost looks as good as you do."

Sidney doesn't get it at first. The reason that Paulie would say that to him and then James would blush brightly.

Then he sees the romance hidden in their secret glance.

Oh.

Sidney decides not to say anything. If the team doesn't know (or they did and didn't tell him) it's not his place to say anything. So he lets Alex drag him out of the awkward huddle of Penguins toward his special room.

Sidney isn't one hundred percent sure that the box is actually.. custom made. And he highly doubts the company would put in extra money just to do something for a conference rival's concussed captain who's dating their captain. So he tells Alex that.

Alex rolls his eyes, making Sidney sit down before pressing a kiss on his lips. "If box is no safe, all over Twitter tomorrow."

He watches Ovie go. Sidney suddenly feels alone, empty. And he hates it. Like he -really- hates it. It feels like his whole world just walked away from him.

And in a way, it did.

The game ends up going into a shootout. Alex plays a really good game. He's always had fun playing against Zhenya. Mainly because Evgeni is really good, almost better than Alex himself (but not better than Sidney). They haven't played against each other since the KHL days. Alex isn't really complaining. He's just really impressed that Evgeni has improved so much since then.

When Zhenya asks to take Alex out for some drinks, he instantly declines. He can't just leave Sidney alone in his house.

"No it's fine." Sidney objects. He places a hand on Alex's chest before stretching up to whisper in his ear. "I'll wait up for you."

What he said really doesn't mean anything. Besides, Sidney isn't medically cleared for activities that intense (or at least the doctor never said, but he might be).

Alex can still imagine.

He eventually caves. There's no point in arguing with the two most stubborn people in the world.

It's not a big, fancy strip club like he's used to (plus Sidney would kill them both if he found out they went to one). Instead it's a simple bar. They go into a private room which is filled with a bunch of drunk NHL Russians, and J.P. Barry (Zhenya's agent).

Sasha, Nicklas, and Ilya are here. So he shouldn't let the sight of Evgeni's agent ruin the night.

Conversations are you know, normal, Russian, male stuff. Alex mainly shares a bottle of vodka with Evgeni and make random, rude comments (which are always hilarious, because he's hilarious) when he feels like it.

Zhenya gets really drunk. He's so plastered that Alex doesn't really care to listen to mumbling that he says to himself in their home language.

That is until he hears Sidney's name.

Evgeni plays with the liquid in his glass. "... Sidney is so.. perfect. He's beautiful. Lucky to be with. Sanja doesn't deserve him."

"Excuse me?" Alex snaps.

Evgeni turns to him, eyes wide and enraged. "You heard me. You don't deserve him. He can do so much fucking better." He snarls. "Sid dates horrible, scumbag of men. People like you and Claude. He goes for people who just want his body.. not.. not him."

That is a bunch of bullshit. "Don't you ever fucking say that again."

Evgeni gets up, balling his fist. "What you gonna do Sanja? Punch me. Go ahead p. Lets see how much Sid like you then."

Alex sighs, looking at his friend with sadness in his chest. "Zhenya, you know I don't fight men at their weakest."

The Penguin looks even more pissed, facing starting to turn red. "I am not weak! You don't fight for your own honor, how do you expect to protect his?" Evgeni spits in his face. "He's not taking this whole family rejection thing better than you think he is. Not to mention the concussion and not being able to play or do anything. It's fucking killing him. I'm surprised you haven't noticed."

Alex wipes the spit off with the sleeve of his sweat shirt. "I do fucking see how depressed he is. But you know what, at the end of the day, I make him happy. He lays in my arms in my bed. Not yours."

Evgeni snarls. "I bet if he knew I wanted him he would go with me." He smiles a little devishly. "How about I ask him with my tongue tomorrow."

Alex stands up, crowding his personal space. "You better not fucking touch him."

Zhenya pushes him, the bigger Russian only stumbling back a foot. "Try me."

He's had enough of this shit. He pushes back his friend (ex friend?), hard enough Evgeni has to grab the bar from a few seats down to steady himself.

They exchange a few punches, one splitting open Evgeni's lip, before they're being pulled apart. Sasha and Nick grabbed Alex's shoulder, pulling his into one corner, while Ilya and Nabokov pull Evgeni over to the other side of the room.

"What is wrong with you two?" Sasha asks, clearly trying not to punch Alex himself.

Alex exhales harshly. "Personal shit."

Nick rolls his eyes. "Does it have to do with the new Lemieux?"

He pretends he has no idea what he's talking about. But Nick just rolls his eyes again before explaining to Alex he saw them kiss and that Sid was wearing his jersey, blah blah blah, he tried not to puke, blah blah blah.

Sasha flicks him in the ear as Alex watches Ilya haul Evgeni out of the room and probably out of the club.

Then J.P. heads his way.

"How dare you touch Evgeni in such a violent manner!" J.P.'s face is redder than Evgeni's was. "Now he's going to have an unexplainable split lip thanks to your actions."

Alex relaxes, making his teammates relax too. It was enough of an escape for him to break free and punch J.P. in the jaw.

The agent stumbles back, holding his face, his eyes wide in utter shock.

"Maybe you should ask your client what -really- happened." Alex snarls.

J.P. practically runs out of there, still clutching his jaw like it's a life or death situation.

This time Sasha doesn't hesitate slapping him and giving Alex a lecture about manners that would make his mother swoon.

"You gotta stop this man," Nick says as he drives Alex home. "I don't know your relationship with Lemieux or anything. So I'm not going to tell you what to do. Plus I'm not Sasha and your still my captain." If only Sasha knew that. "But you have to quit being so defensive over him. I'm sure he's capable of handling himself."

Alex sighs. "I know. The things Evgeni said were.. innapropriate and very rude." Alex shrugs as Nik parks in the driveway. "It's just that.. Sidney is my everything. I love him. And I just.. don't like people talking about him behind his back. Especially when someone who knows me better than anyone calls me a scumbag, saying I don't care about him."

Nik's mouth hangs open. "Who are you and what have you done with Ovie?"

Alex rolls his eyes, "Trying to be serious Niklas."

"Yes, I know. Now stop, I don't like it."

He sighs, rubbing his hand on the side of his face before grabbing the doorhandle. "Night Nik."

Nik squeezes Alex's shoulder. "Night Ovie. You better be back to your old self by tomorrow's game."

Alex shuts the door quietly before walking up to his house and unlocking the door.

The light in the living room is on, but no Sidney to be found. Turning off the light, he heads up stairs, carefully trying not to wobble.

When he does manage to get into the room without hurting himself, he finds Sidney laying on the bed reading one of his romantic French novels.

"Hey." Sidney says, putting the bookmark on his place before setting the book on the night stand.

Alex takes off his sweat shirt, exposing his bare chest as he throws the gray material on the ground. "Hey."

Sidney looks at his lap, an obvious blush creeping over his face. "Did you have a good night?"

Alex shrugs. "Good as night can be with drunk Russians," He sits on the bed, getting as close to Sidney as possible. "Did you have good night?"

Sidney blushes even more, "Well I mean ... it was lonely and stuff. But I kept telling myself you know .. that we um .. need to .. spend some time apart every now and then." He clearly looks nervous. "Because, you know .. it's not .. healthy for a relationship to be um, inseperable. So uh, as long as your out. And I'll be able to go out eventually. So um .. that'll be good for us." Sidney opens his mouth to babble on some more, but Alex presses nd index finger on it.

"Calm down, take breath, relax." Alex orders. "Now tell me what you trying to say."

Sidney searches Alex's eyes for.. whatever. Before placing a cautious hand on the Russian's chest. "Do .. do .. do you um .. want me?" He licks his lips, looking even more nervous than before. "Like.. uh.. sexually."

Alex tries really hard not to smile, but totally fails. "Wouldn't be here if didn't."

Sidney nods like he expected that answer from him. He bites his lip, pulling back his hand and letting it fall on his own lap.

Alex watches in - shock? amusement? he can't quite decide - as Sidney has a mental battle with himself. After a few minutes of conversing with his conscience, he makes up a decision.

Sidney mumbles something to himself before turning toward him.

The Canadian cups Alex's cheek, bringing their lips together for the most intense kiss that they've ever shared.

It's awkward. And it really shouldn't be sexy. Yet it is. He wants more, more than usual.

Maybe Evgeni has a point.

Sidney never saw Evgeni's flirting attempts. Never saw how the other Russian watched him with such longing, whether it was on or off the ice.

Sid had never realized any of that. Maybe he would be with Evgeni instead of Alex..

Then again, Alex wanted Sid first. Has wanted him since he first saw him when the Canadian was only eighteen and about to enter the NHL draft.

It's taken seven years, but he finally has what he's always wanted. Evgeni would never take this away from him.

Or would he?

When Sidney pulls away, he looks star struck. His lips a little puffy that just gets worse when he bites the bottom one. "When you.. get back from Pittsburgh, okay?"

Alex squeezes his hand, "Whenever you want is fine for me."

Sidney nods. He still looks incredibly nervous, but whatever battle he's having with himself is obvious to personal to share, "So how's Geno?"

Alex's stomach twists into knots and his chest aches. He can't lie to Sid, he won't. "Very drunk."

Sidney rests his head on Alex's shoulder. "And how are we?"

"We do good." The Russian replies. "Is nice to spend lots of time with you. Bad situation, but is still good."

The Canadian nods, placing a small kiss on Alex's pale skin. "Maybe I could come to Pittsburgh with you. That way we can go out without it being .. noticable."

Alex really should say no. It'll be bad enough having to see Evgeni after that .. scene, him being there would be worse. After seeing the pleading in his partner's eyes, he can't say no. "Can ride plane with team! Then we have big Cap-Pen playoff party at house. Will be good."

Sidney rolls his eyes, giving off a small smile. "No alcohol. I will not let a bunch of drunken, sex deprived hockey players anywhere near my house."

Alex runs his fingertips down the front of Sid's jersey. "I buy Sid jersey, you wear this. We go out, make out during movie, dinner. Will be great."

"Are you trying to get outed?" Sid asks.

Alex smirks. "Maybe."

Sidney flicks his earlobe. "We will go out. But we'll do normal, guy things. You know, things that friends do."

"Friends don't kiss each other Sid."

Sidney rolls his eyes. "And none of that will be happening then either."

Alex slides down so he's on his back instead of resting against the head board. He uses arm to shield his eyes. "So unfair Sid. Can't look at you."

Alex feels the smaller man's head on his chest and an arm wrapped around his stomach. The Russian opens his eyes to find the room dark and his lover looking up at him.

"Sorry, the light was starting to hurt."

The words were simple and meaningless, but it filled his heart with.. such pure happiness. Happiness that only Sidney gave him. A feeling that nobody will be able to give him again. Losing Sidney is something he can't handle, he won't let it happen.

No matter what, he won't let his much smaller lover go into the arms of another man. Especially not Evgeni. Even if the cost was his longest and greatest friendship, he wouldn't let Sidney go.

He waited to long, watched from the side line. He kept lying to himself. Saying that Sid wouldn't feel the same, that he'd never have a chance with him. But Sidney does want Alex, almost as much as Alex wanted Sidney.

"Everything will be okay if for you."

Alex doesn't know where the words came from or how he almost performed a perfect sentence, but it happened. Making Sidney blush before laying his head all the way down.

The Russian breathed calm and steady, making himself relax. When Sidney's soft breathing increases a little in volume, Alex lets out a sigh of relief.

It's always been his goal to protect the ones he loves. More specifically, Sidney and Evgeni. He's always done everything he can to help them.

What does he do when the two people he loves the most have to be separated and it's all his fault?

Maybe .. Maybe Evgeni does deserve Sidney. Maybe Alex should let him go. Zhenya would make him happier.

Maybe he really should.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

When Sidney wakes up in the morning, the area next to him is cold and empty. Slowly, he gets up. Wandering over to the bathroom, pressing his ear up against the door.

He hears the shower water.

Okay, so that eliminates the option that Alex had snuck out on him in the middle of the night.

Hm, it's seventy-thirty. Alex is never up this early. Unless Sidney wakes him up of course.

He's a little alarmed, but he's not going to intrude on his shower just to question his tactics.

Instead, Sidney strips down to his boxers and starts rummaging through Alex's closet for something suitable to wear. In the end, it'll probably end up being nothing because his boyfriend has the absolute worst taste in clothes that he's ever seen.

He settles on a pair of Hollister sweatpants that are to long but are okay because they're soft and chusiony and make his ass look good (and he totally did not spend ten minutes trying to look at it in Alex's body length mirror).

After totally not doing anything, he goes back to looking for a shirt.

He doesn't find anything because he's dating the single person who doesn't own a normal piece of clothing that isn't a neon color or has some stupid logo on it that makes no sense.

Sidney decides on putting the jersey back on and heading downstairs to make coffee.

Then he gets really scared.

The coffee is already made.

He should be grateful, he really should. Except for the fact that Alex doesn't really know how to use his coffee maker and it takes him like an hour just to make a single cup.

With a little more energy than when he woke up, he bounces up the stairs. Sidney has no reason to be panicking, he doesn't. Alex just finally took the time to use his simple coffee maker to help Sid.. relax. To wake up with a fresh cup of Joe and a freshly showered man in the morning.

Still, he does go up stairs with his heart fluttering more than what it should.

Well it's understandable when he opens the door to walk in on Alex wearing only his towel that hangs loosely on his hips.

Sidney licks his lips, shutting the door gently behind him. "Are um.. you-you okay?"

Alex smiles that one special grin that shows the gap and the whiteness of his teeth very well. "Why would I not be?"

Sidney blushes even more than he already was as he watches a shed of water trail down Alex's chest and stomach. "Because you um.. you made coffee. And... and you um... were up before me." He sighs. "I know I probably sound uh... uh stupid and stuff but I um.."

Alex rolls his eyes, grabbing Sid by the shoulders. "Could no sleep and you make coffee yesterday never turn off." He cocks his head to the side. "Why so nervous?"

Sidney licks his lips again, giving Alex a very obvious once over before blushing even more. Ovie just gives him a shit eating smirk, getting as close as possible without actually touching.

"Like it when I only wear towel?" Alex's accent is heavy, deep with sexual hunger. His eyes cloud to a dark shade, hands running down Sidney's sides before resting just underneath his shirt. "Want me take it off?"

Sidney looks down as he blushes brightly, shifting nervously under his gaze. "We'll I'd .. uh .. much rather you not."

When Sid actually gets the nerve to look back up, Alex looks a little disappointed. But mostly hurt. And it breaks Sid's heart.

"It's not that I don't want you, I do .. It's just .. I'm not ready." Sidney tries to explain, but he totally fails because Alex looks even more sad. "Look um .. tonight. Okay? Tonight I promise."

Ovie sighs, muttering something in Russian that Sidney assumes is agreement. The older man's phone starts to ring, so he tosses it at Sid before going into the bathroom.

"Hello." He greets, not checking the caller ID.

"Sidney?" Nicklas Bäckström's voice sounds very shocked from the other end. "Uh .. hey .. is Alex there?"

"Yeah. He's uh in the bathroom." So awkward. He really hopes his team knows. "Do you.. um.. want me to deliver a message?"

Bäckström laughs, well sort of. "Sure.. Can you tell to be at airport by one p.m." He laughs a little more this time. "Make sure to say p.m., not make him think a.m. ... again."

Sidney smiles, "Yeah sure. We'll be there. Bye."

"Uh bye."

He gently places the phone on the bedstand (just because Alex has no disregard for his personal properties doesn't mean Sid will do the same).

"Who was it?" Alex asks, emerging from the bathroom in only his boxers.

Sidney was trying not to stare. "Uh.. Nicklas... He wanted me to tell you that we have to be at the airport at one p.m."

Alex rolls his eyes, grabbing Sid's hips. "Could skip.."

Sidney pushes him lightly, just as the headache starts. "No we're not skipping." He sits down on the bed. "I need to lay down, got get ready. Wake me up when. we need to leave."

Alex looks genuinely concerned. "Don't have to come."

Sidney rolls his eyes. "Be worse if I didn't."

Ovie nods, placing a kiss on the top of Sid's head before doing as he's told (for once).

Slowly, gingerly, Sidney lays on his side. As of late, his headaches haven't been that bad. Compared to last time, he'd definitely say there's been a change.

Well, there's been a change in scenery.

He highly doubts that Alex could make a difference in his health.

Then again, he hasn't had a single nightmare when sleeping in the Russian's arm.

Hm, he thinks as he closes his eyes, maybe there's something else to this love thing.

Alex is pretty swift when it comes to packing. He doesn't really have much of anything that would cause a giant mess. But he doesn't really spend much time in his house before now. It was either they were on the road, or during the summer he went to Russia, he really only stayed in his house when he had someone to join him.

Well, now he has Sidney. So he kind of has to.

It's just .. for how long? How long will Sidney be there? That question keeps mocking him, teasing him from the back of his mind.

Then he hears Zhenya. His former best friend yelling at him that he's not good enough, that he doesn't deserve what he has. How Evgeni would be so much better than him.

And he has a point. Evgeni knows Sidney better, is around him all the time. They play on the same hockey team for fuck's sake! Sid's first and only love will always have anything to do with the ice.

Sure, Alex plays too. But not with him. He doesn't get to see him do his pre-game ritual, doesn't get to spend nights with him on the road. Doesn't get to share the winning goal, celebrate another hat trick. And he'll never get the chance to help him lift the Cup over his head.

Damn. What he wouldn't give to be a Penguin.

He's had that thought before. And it's not -just- because of Sidney.

They're a great team. He knows this. Right now they're falling apart without Sidney (who wouldn't when they lose their captain? well except the Caps.. but that's a different story). That doesn't destroy the legacy they've built since the young Canadian's first game.

Plus, he's heard they're pretty hilarious.

Alex sighs to himself, venturing up the stairs to retrieve his lover. He stops at the doorframe though, eyes watching Sidney sleep peacefully.

Alex has a random thought about whether or not Sid was one of those people eho falls asleep directly after sex. He really hopes not because he .. likes to cuddle. Plus Zhenya always fell asleep right afterwards and the last thing he wants is anymore similarities between the two.

With careful, easy movements he tip toed to the bed, sitting down at the foot of it. And just watched.

Sidney's chest moved up and down steadily. His face relaxes to a point where it's emotionless and the crinkles in his forehead disappears. It's an amazing thing sleeping always helps the soul.

Then the smaller man wakes up, sitting up quickly. His eyes frantically searches the room before falling upon Alex. He looks so relieved, throwing his arms around the Russian's shoulders and practically pulling the larger man on top of him (not that Alex would've minded).

"Sid?" Alex's voice is muffled from Sidney's shoulder.

Apparently his message was sent through, because Sid releases him with an apologetic smile.

"Want to tell me what about?" Alex asks.

Sidney looks down, embarrased. "Uh .. no .. not really." His eyes look a little watery. "It was .. um .. just a bad dream."

Alex wraps his fingers around Sid's right ankle, a light touch traveling up the pale calf. "Bad dream don't make you act like that."

The Canadian looks up at him sheepishly. "It's .. um .. It's nothing .. Just happy to see you're still here and all of this." He gestures to the room around him. "Hasn't just been the best dream of my life."

"Be better with hockey."

The way Sidney looks at him makes Alex think that he hasn't really thought about that part much.

Sidney licks his lips. "Um .. when we go to Pitt today .. will you .. It'll just be us, right? No one else coming to crash out party?"

Alex smiles. "I beat everyone who come over." He pauses. "Except Mario. No hit future father-in-law."

Sidney blushes, wiping his face nervously and checking the time. "So we have .. like .. a whole hour left. What do you want to do?"

They both look at each other with devilish grins on their faces before racing to the stairs.

Like a couple idiots, they spent ten minutes deciding on who gets to be who and how Sid doesn't like Princess Peach because she has sucky cars. Then Alex would throw in the arguement about how he's Mario and Sidney is his princess. Which would just leave to more arguing about how Sidney is -not- at all a princess.

Okay, it can't be this difficult to play Mario Kart.

The next hour rolls around quickly. With them complaining about how the other is definitely cheating and that it's a bunch of bullshit (which generally ends with Alex kissing Sid until he's breathless).

Alex insists on loading -all- the lugage into the car by himself. "Going to exert lot of energy tonight save for now."

Then Sidney blushes brightly and keeps his protests quiet.

The Caps are a .. rambunctious group. Definitely not something he's used to.

The Pens are hilarious, and they care about each other. They all could've just rejected Sid, tolerated him only for the game. Yet now, they are so much closer than before. And he doesn't have to pretend with them anymore.

On the other hand, the Caps give Alex a harsh, judgemental look when he walks up with Sid.

Matt Bradley looks particularly pissed off, "What the hell is the faggot doing here?"

Alex approaches him with such hostility that Sidney was expecting a fight to break out.

"Ever say that again, I break face. Okay?" Alex threatens, intwining his fingers with Sid's.

Bradley puts his hands up in the air, a way of waving the white flag. "Sorry man. Didn't know."

Alex squeezes his shoulder and practically drags Sid to the plane, carrying their bags in his free hand.

"Sidney!" Sasha yells, throwing his arms around Sid's neck to force him into a hug.

Ovie rolls his eyes, kicking Sasha in the shin.

Semin hisses something at Alex in Russian but does let him go. But then Nicklas starts hugging Sid in his place.

Alex throws his hands up in the air, yelling something in his language before getting on the plane by himself.

Sidney has to pry himself away from Alex's friends. Who had started talking to each other while nearly suffocating him.

Ovie had decided to take the window seat leaving Sidney to sit on his left with an extra seat.

Alex grabs his hand the moment he sits down, frowning. "I'm sorry about that."

Sidney rolls his eyes. "It's okay. I like Nick and Sasha."

Alex gives him a youve-got-to-be-kidding-me look. "I meant.. Matt. He mean, rude. Say .. bad things."

He gives Ovie's hand a squeeze. "He's hardly the first person to say it to me and he's not going to be the last." He smiles at himself. "At least he didn't call me Cindy."

Alex looks furious. "Who say that? Tell me and I slow kill them. Trust me, I Russian I can."

"Oh my god. No." Sidney objects. "Look, it doesn't matter what people say about .. our .. sexual orientation aslong as you're with someone you love."

Alex calms down, a lot, "You with someone you love?"

Sidney smiles gently. "Wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Ovie grins, cupping the smaller man's face and kissing him.

Someone scoffs from beside them.

"Not time Nick." Alex growls.

Nick puts a hand on Sid's back, making the Canadian jump. "Not mean to intrude. Just wondering when is my turn."

Sidney blushes brightly as Alex gives him a death glare.

"Not sharing." Alex says.

Nick laughs, rubbing small circles on Sid's lower back. "Not fair Alex. Always get good ones."

Ovie loosens up after that, a small on his lips. "Always come to late."

Bäckström pulls his hand back, so Sid takes the opportunity to sit back. But then he just starts rubbing his thigh, murming things in Swedish.

Apparently, Alex finds it acceptable for his teammate to molest his leg.

"So, how is Evgeni?" Nick asks.

"Oh uh, Geno is great. Or, the last time I talked to him he was." Sidney replies.

Alex's eyes go cold with hatred. That's odd. Him and Geno (Zhenya to him) have always been the best of friends.

Bäckström and Ovie are (obviously) keeping a secret from him by the way they're looking at each other.

"Okay," Sidney is fed up with the secrets. "If you two are going to do this .. weird yet totally adorable teammate connection thing I will get off this plane right now."

Nick just smiles at him, pulling his hand away, "No reason to leave,"

Alex's face would say a different story, but he doesn't object.

Freaks, Sidney thinks as they take off.

Most of the flight was pretty normal. He got a few odd glances his way, but it's nothing he didn't already expect.

Well, that is until Alex falls asleep on him and Bäckström goes back to molesting his thigh.

"Does this no bother you?" Nicklas asks eventually.

Sid shrugs. "Well .. uh .. kind of, but it's fine."

Nick looks pleased. "Waited for Alex punch me in face. See if he do it or not."

That actually sounds like a very dumb thing to do, so Sidney tells him that.

Nick gives a soft chuckle. "True it is," he agrees. "But Alex knows I don't have feelings for you. Someone else you're both very close to. But not you."

Uh.. okay? "That's um .. nice to know."

Nick smiles like he's accomplished his goal and made what he was saying very clear. Thankfully he keeps his hands to himself the rest of the ride.

The ride isn't really that long. (seriously, how could Alex have fallen asleep and woken up like nothing happened in that short amount of time.)

Anyways, Sidney has to shield himself as much as possible. The next to last thing he wants is to get seen by the photographers exiting a plane with the whole Caps roster. (The worst being caught with Alex and have no way of denying what is the obvious.)

They go out to this nice deli that Sid is absolutely in love with and because no one ever notices him there. Which is a good thing because Alex keeps playing footsie with him.

After that, they go site seeing. Well, it's mainly just Sidney showing Alex the best looking places and Ovie just looks on with amusement as he claims that Sid is the best thing to look at on this world. (And then he blushes like crazy).

It's a nice evening really. Minus the couples times he has to stop Alex from grabbing his hand or kissing him (though he does end up accomplishing one of each. just a quick brush of the lips and intwining pinkies).

They get to his house as night starts to fall. Sidney's intentions were to have a nice, quiet night offwith Alex. Helping him get pumped up for tomorrow's game while making his house feel all warm and cozy.

He did in no way, shape, or form expect to be pushed up against the wall the moment the door closed behind them.

It's not like he could object or anything (not that he wants to). Because Alex has his tongue in his mouth, hands pinning his hips against the cold, white surface of the wall, and crotch pressed against his.

When the grinding starts, Sid gasps, causing Alex to pull away. "Sorry, to much?"

He shakes his head, a small, insignificant throbing pain forming on the spot where he was hit. Sid forgets about it as Alex devours his mouth again.

It's different from the first time. No longer that hungry, desperate kiss that just got out everything he's been holding back. Instead it's passionate with an intense amount longing.

Sidney runs his hands up under Alex's shirt, feeling the warm flesh beneath it. Ovie takes a tiny step back, shedding the material before reaching out and doing Sid's as well.

They only take a couple seconds to admire each other before they start kissing. They take small awkward steps toward the stairs before deciding their pants didn't need to come up there with them. And their socks because that would be weird to still have them on.

To ensure Sid's safety, they don't kiss up the stairs, nope. Instead Alex decides to carry him all honeymoon style to 'save time' or whatever stupid excuse he mumbles because it's a mixture of poor English and Russian and he can't decifer exactly what he's saying.

When Alex gently places him on the bed, it sort of starts to hit Sid what's happening. Propped up on his elbows, Sid watches him pull out the lube and condom out of his bag, as if he planned it on purpose (or he assumed that Sidney didn't have any (which he'd be wrong, he does have some, for you know visitors) and brought it along just in case).

Alex kisses him again, this time fierce as if to distract him from the obvious sound of the bottle opening.

Sidney breathes heavily as he allows Alex to position them properly. He watches in slight horror as the Russian is about to put some on his fingers, but stops and looks at him nervously.

"Is .. to much?" Alex asks, biting his bottom lip.

Sidney starts biting his lip as well (maybe it's contagious?). "No it's just that I've .. uh .. I've never done this before."

He sort of expects that to just be like a major buzz kill or something. Instead, Alex grins.

"Go slower then." Alex whispers, pressing his lips on Sid's forehead before putting the lube on his fingers.

He may or may not be about to have a heart attack. His heart is beating furiously and he's pretty sure he's sweating badly, or he feels like it anyway. Instinctively, his body tightens up, prepared to take any possible hit.

(Okay, so he can possibly find a way to connect this to hockey. Nice.)

The first finger is not as like, life endingly painful as he assumed it'd be. It still burns like holy hell and feels so incredibly uncomfortable.

Alex waits (what Sid assumes) to be longer than what he usually would, awaiting confirmation or whatever, before slipping in the second.

Sidney tries to breath in and out. Thinking that this isn't going to be the last time they do this. So he might as well try and find his comfortable place as Alex's fingers stretch him open.

When the third finger slips in, Sid lets out an awkward sounding, high pitched moan, which actually came out more as a squeak. But it leaves a small simper on Alex's lips.

Ovie's fingers pick up a general pace, leaving both their cocks aching more, "Is.. Is enough?"

Sidney nods his head once, that small throbing pain from before lighting up his head for just a second afore going away as quickly as it came.

Immediately upon pulling out, Sidney feel hollow and empty. He watches Alex slip on the condom with such ease, it makes him wonder how many times his lover has done this same thing to someone else.

Alex climbs on top of him again, restraddling himself so they're in a comfortable position as he slips a pillow under Sid's hips. "Wouldn't want to break hip first time."

Yeah .. that totally makes sense. Especially when Alex holds him firmly down onto the pillow as he slides himself in.

If he was about to have a heart attack because of his fingers, Sid is about to have like a nervous breakdown times fifty.

Still, as he lets himself relax and Alex takes his sweet time thrusting in, it's not as bad. It still hurts, like your first bodycheck or first punch to the face. But he'll get used to this.

Apparently, he has absolutely no control of his mouth whatsoever. Because he keeps moaning (this time like a natural person would) ridiculously loud, shouting Alex's name as the Russian's teeth graze his collar bone and his adam's apple.

Then Alex hits his prostate and Sid flips shit.

He squeaks again, this time his back arching up. Ovie finds this to be hilarious, or so he guesses from the hot breath of his laugh on Sid's skin.

Everytime Alex thrusts into him, it's more of a light tap than what it's supposed to be.

And Sidney wants so much more.

"Al.. Alex H-h-hard.. harder." Sidney pants.

Alex brings up a thumb to wipe Sid's sweaty hair off his forehead as he slams into him.

This makes a combination of the weird squeaky sound and a deep whine sort of .. jump out of his throat. And it continues to adjust until it's a full out moan.

"Sid .. Sid p-p-please. If you don't I'm gonna.." Alex pants.

Sidney takes the opportunity to let himself go (because he's been putting it off for a while) just as Alex does. He orgasms with a jerky movement before just letting his whole body slump on the bed.

Alex pulls out, and again he feels abandoned. But it's not like they could just lay there covered in come.

Or maybe they can?

"Cuddle now, shower later," Alex explains as he. sets them up into a perfect cuddling position.

Sidney snuggled into the crook of his neck and just listened to his lover's breathing, "Anything past an hour will be gross." Or so his teammates have said before.

As if he had summoned them telepathically, Sid's house phone that he keeps on the bedstand when he doesn't have his actual phone, starts to ring.

With a groan he answers it, "What do you want Paulie?"

"Hey, no need to get snappy with me because you aren't getting laid." Paulie says sassily.

"As a matter of fact I am get-" Sid stops himself, "What do you need Paulie, or else I'm hanging up."

Martin laughs. "Sid the Kid isn't a kid anymore."

He rolls his eyes. "Hanging up in five, four, three-"

"Okay, okay." Paulie caves. "So um. We know you and your boytoy are hiding in your lover's shack across the street from your parents' house. But the team wants to hang out with him. Y'know, get to know him as your lover instead of a rival opponent."

Sidney sighs, "Okay, let me asks him." He muffles the speaker of the phone into his shoulder. "Is it okay if we go hang out with my loser teammates?"

Alex's face goes pale (well paler) but he smirks. "Can't be worse than mine."

"Yes they are." Sidney puts the phone back on his ear, "Yeah we'll be there. When and where?"

Since it's only two thirty-seven by the time the call ends, and they don't have to be at Fleury's until five. They end up laying in bed for nearly two hours before finally giving into the smell and the stickyness of the situation before caving into taking a joint shower. (Where Sidney kept trying to actually clean them both off and Alex kept kissing him.)

Alex is also very stubborn about putting clothes on too. Claiming he doesn't "need them". Then Sidney just throws something decent at him and pretty much has to force them on the larger man.

Of course, Ovie wants to drive as well. Sidney is more than capable of driving his own practical, normal, unsporty car just a few miles. But Alex won't budge.

"Want to show off you beauty along with car beauty." Alex explains, opening the passenger side.

With a bright blush, Sidney sits down with no further complaints.

Well, except his god awful driving. Which has, surprisingly, gotten worse since he doesn't know the roads.

James and Paulie are sitting on the front porch of Flower's house. Holding hands and whispering things into each other's ears with big grins on their faces.

"Ugh," Sid complains. "You two are disgusting."

Paulie jumps up, pulling Sid into a bone crushing embrace. He was waiting for it to happen. Martin loves hungs.

When he hugs Alex the same way though, he's almost as caught off guard as the one getting hugged. The Russian looks bewildered, but he throws his arms around the smaller man and goes along with it.

"Sorry Sid," James says, hugging his captain, "He's happy."

"No that is exstatic," Sidney says as Paulie practically jumps in place, "What'd you do to him Lazy?"

"Everything." Paulie says, grinning like a big, dopey idiot.

Alex looks at Sid like he's so lost and confused. Sidney rolls his eyes and shrugs before grabbing Alex's hand and pulling him inside.

"Sid!" Kuni yells, throwing an arm across his captain's shoulders.

"Hello Alex," Flower says, doing the same to the Russian, "I think we have some talking to do."

Alex looks at Sid, eyes a little wide.

"Told you mine were worse." Sidney points out.

Flower chuckles as he pulls Alex into the kitchen and Kuni pulls Sid outside.

"What do you mean we're worse?" Kuni asks.

Sidney shakes off Chris's arm to receive hugs from Tanger, Brooks, Max (why is he here? seriously, it's like he's still a Penguin), and Geno (who hugs him longer than usual).

"Well uh, you guys are .. very protective. Plus you intervene in everyone's love lives." Sidney tries to explain. "And his are a bunch of jackasses who don't really give a shit."

"Why what did they do to you?" Max asks, handing Sid a plastic red cup filled with lemonade.

Sid shrugs, taking a sip. "Bradley called me a faggot."

Geno chokes on the lemonade in his mouth. "Where he live? Beat shit out of him."

Sid rolls his eyes. "No, no. It's fine."

They end up spending the next half hour coming up with ideas on how to torture Bradley where it would last and slowly end his life. (Which mainly consists of Geno giving off random, Russian punishments for things like treason and murder while Sidney stands there wondering why him).

"Geno," Sidney places his hand on his arm. "It's really okay. You don't have to do that."

Geno places a hand on Sid's hip. Looking down into his eyes, his eyes darker than he's ever seen.

"Besides, you'll have plenty of time to do that on the ice tomorrow." Flower says, slapping Geno on the back.

Alex stands beside the goalie. His face pale and he looks absolutely terrified. Now Sid's scared to find out what happened in such a short amount of time.

"Give him a talking to?" Kuni asks, a stupid smirk on his face.

Flower looks very pleased with himself. "Well, he certainly understands us now."

Sidney takes his eyes off Alex for a moment to look at Geno.

In simple terms, he looks pissed.

"Hey Flower! Tell James that he is Lazy!" Paulie jogs up to them.

James follows a few feet behind. Very obviously failng at the simple task. "I am .. -not- .. lazy."

Flower steps out of his space between the two Russians to grab James by the shoulders.

"You are lazy because you rely on your natural good looks to find you a girlfriend rather than taking the time to go and find one." Flower explains.

Paulie looks a little hurt, but keeps smiling. Sidney opens his mouth to say something, but closes it immediately.

They didn't tell the team. Oh.

Alex just looks at him confused (and still fearing his life). Sidney shakes his head, placing a hand on his chest in an attempt to bring him closer.

Ovie gets it, because he does come closer. Placing a hesitant hand on Sid's hip.

"I'm sure whatever Flower said he didn't mean it." Sid says.

Alex smiles. "When goalie able to corner you and scare you, then he mean it."

"He cornered you?" Sidney can't help but laugh.

"Hey," Alex says, "just because I big, strong Russian man, doesn't mean I handle Penguin goalie. He scary."

"Sanja, can you come here." Geno's voice sounds rough and more of a growl than anything else.

Alex's back straightens up, but he gives Sid's cheek a peck and goes over there.

Sid tries to listen to the arguement going on between Paulie and Nealsy (technically isn't it a lover's quarrel?). But his attention keeps adverting over the heating conversation between Geno and Alex.

Pretty much everyone's attention adverts over to them when Geno screams in Russian, getting in Alex's face. Then he brings up the fist and punches his best friend in the nose.

Everyone runs over there. Flower and Tanger grab Geno's shoulders, holding back the protesting Russian. Sidney jogs over to Alex, who stands there holding his nose.

"Baby, are you okay?" Sidney asks, heart racing a million miles per hour.

Alex smirks at him, uncovering his nose. "Still pretty?"

Sidney flicks him in the ear. "Trying to be serious," Sid puts a hand on his shoulder. "Tell me what happened."

"What the hell is going on?" Duper asks, for once having a serious expression on his face.

And if you can get -Pascal Dupius- to be serious for more than five seconds, shit just got real.

"Geno punched Ovie." Paulie says, rolling his eyes as James imitates the motion.

"He punch my agent." Geno explains.

Sidney looks up at Alex. Who just looks even more pissed off.

"Really? How about the part where you try to get me to break up with Sid?" Alex snaps.

Sidney whips around, causing his head to throb and his world to slightly tilt.

"What?" Sidney asks.

Geno slumps, looking defeated. "He no deserve you Sid."

"Hey um, how about you guys head inside and look after the kids?" Duper asks.

Everyone does as he says (which is almost as surprising as the whole situation it's self because no one ever listens to him)-

"I no able to see you two together. Make heart ache." Geno explains, grabbing Sidney by the hips. "Sid, I-I-I-I love you."

"Oh my god. No you don't. Don't.. don't say that." Sid's head starts to hurt as he clings onto Geno to stop feeling so dizzy.

Apparently the need to be able to stand was taken as a gesture to bring him closer. Because that's what Geno does.

"Yes.. Yes I do. Mean every word." Geno whispers.

Sidney watches in utter horror as Geno closes the space between their lips. His whole body freezes upon the touch and he doesn't even move after it's over.

"S-Sid?" Alex's voice makes Sid snap to reality and turn around.

His boyfriend stands there. Hands shoved deep into his pockets and he looks as nervous as hell.

In other words, he looks exactly the same as the first time they met.

Sidney was being forced by Mario to meet some of the other new prospects coming into NHL along with him. A nice way to know his competition.

And the one that stood out was Alexander Ovechkin.

He wasn't loud mouthed and cocky as he is now. Nope. He stood out because he was standing there awkwardly with his hands deep in his jean pockets.

Exactly as Sidney was.

Now, standing there four years later, Sidney thinks about how far his life has come. And how it's all gone wrong, yet so perfectly right.

He turns back around, "Geno. You are. my friend, my -best- friend. And I know one day that you'll find someone who will love you with all their heart and will accept you for all you've got." Sidney tries to sort of smile in an apologetic way, "But that person isn't going to be me. I.. I can't love you when I'm in love with somebody else. I'm sorry."

Geno takes a step back, hands trembling. "You let him ruin what perfect future we have?"

Sidney sighs. "Even if he wasn't here I couldn't never have those kinds of feelings toward you Geno. I love you, but in a brotherly way."

Geno grabs Sid's hands. "Please don't say that."

Sidney loosens the grip and takes a step back. "Geno, just stop. It wouldn't work out between us. And there isn't anything you can do or say to change that."

Geno runs a hand through his hair, wiping the tears falling down his cheeks as he hangs his head. "If .. if ever change mind. I always love you."

Sidney turns around, the ground underneath him spinning. Alex grips his elbows to keep him upright. "Just.. Just take me home."

Ovie does as he says, holding him until he's seated in the car.

Neither of them speak on the ride home. Sidney stares out the window as a few tears slide down from his eyes and Alex is focused on the rode. He only makes one sharp turn the whole time.

Back in Sid's house, Alex doesn't meet his gaze. Instead he wordlessly sits on the couch and fiddles on his phone.

After about ten minutes of Sidney sitting next to him on the couch, bouncing his leg like he always does when he's really pissed off. He gives up.

Sidney takes the phone out of Alex's hands and tosses it on the table.

"We are. going to fucking talk and we're going to do it now." Sidney commands.

Alex sighs. "What you want me say?"

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me all this happened?" It really would've been the easier thing to do than have all of -that- happen.

"Not my place for me to tell you his feeling. That his job and I no need to tell you that about other man." Alex explains.

"As my -boyfriend- you need to communicate to me when you think we're having problems. And this qualifies as a major problem." Sid points out.

Alex looks crushed. "This is not problem. Zhenya he .. do this all time. Alway want what I have or someone he no able to get. Unlike me, he no really love you. He say things to get with you." He frowns, "unless.. Unless you -want- to be with him.. Then I understand."

Sid feels his heart stop for like a second. "Of course I don't want that." He rests his forehead on the palm of his hand when a stabbing pain ripples through his brain.

He hears Alex's breath hitch. "But .. but .. he so much more attractive than me. Would be better for you because you .. you play on same team. Get to see you more."

Sidney snaps his head up, which makes it worse. "I don't care about appearances. But you look a lot better than he does." He bites his lip hesitantly, before deciding to fuck it. "Alex. I -love- you. Whether we move somewhere to get married or we just stay partners, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you. And nothing is ever going to change that." He wipes the tear that falls down Alex's cheek. "When I said that the greatest dream of my life would be spending it with you, I wasn't even thinking about hockey. Sure, it would be nice to play together. But as long as I know that at the end of the day you're still mine, then that's all I want."

Alex brings up a shaky hand, resting it on Sid's cheek. "I love you too, have for while. But .. Zhenya is right .. I no deserve you, can do better."

Sidney leans into the touch, "You're.. you're everything I want."

Alex nods, tears coming out in full stream. "I love you.. so much."

Sidney barely has time to say it back before Alex presses their lips together. It's sort of like the first one from earlier. Desperate, but slow and delicate.

All they do that night is kiss a lot. Alex doesn't want to push it. Besides, they have a life time to do whatever they want."

xxx

Evgeni unlocks the door to his house and closes it with excessive force. It's bad enough that Sidney turned him down, for Sanja of all people. But it happened in front of -everyone-. Now they all know.

Fucking great.

It's all fucking Ovie's fault. Having to take Sidney away from him, for being so fucking heartless. For always getting whatever and whoever he wanted.

He's not the one who fucking hid in a bathroom in a dirty airport just to sneak into America to play with Sidney. Alex left being it got tough, leaving Evgeni behind to deal with his own problems.

God, he fucking hates him.

During his mental battle, Evgeni doesn't see Nicklas Bäckström sitting on his couch until he's standing right in front of him.

"Uh ..Hi Nicklas." Evgeni says.

Nicklas makes a clucking sound with his tongue. "Please call me Nick."

Evgeni doesn't get to see Nicklas - Nick, whatever - very often, but when he does. It always makes him ache with longing. "Nick, why here?"

Nick stands up so he's crowding Evgeni's personal space. "'You know why."

Nick leans in, kissing Evgeni slowly. He brushes his cold fingers on the pale flesh underneath the Russian's blue shirt.

When the break for air, Evgeni grabs the Swede's hand and pulls him toward the bedroom. The only thing he thinks about is that it's been a while since he's enjoyed another man's company.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

Jonny laid on his bed, curled in a ball, and all alone. He hated losing period. But losing to the Stars at home was a whole different thing.

With Sidney coming out, and Jonny following not long after, they were entitled the pioneers of the gay community. (Obviously Sid never knew. that because he doesn't read Deadspin on a daily basis like Jonny does).

Then the younger Canadian got a concussion due to some very homophobic shit. Nash was slapped with a five million dollar fine and suspended for the rest of the regular season and the post season.

While some said it was a bit to much for what he did. Most said it was justification for such acts. Whether gay or straight it was very innapropriate and could've ended such a young and talented man's career before he reached his full potential.

A few people said it was all bullshit. That he should've been arrested or suspended indefinitely. (Or both). That the punishment he got was nowhere near equal to what he did to Sidney.

Those people left Sid's legacy and everything he stood for riding on Jonny's shoulders. And he failed. He failed when it mattered the most.

Jonny left the locker room without talking to anyone. Even Kaner. He highly doubt that his fuck buddy would want to deal with him right now anyways.

When him and Patrick has first .. slept together. Jonny had assumed that (after talking out their feelings for each other) they were dating.

Then one night in Minnesota, Jonny told Patrick that he loved him. And Kaner flipped shit.

He yelled at Jonny, telling him that they were only fucking each other. That whatever 'relationship' he thought they had was just based on how good Jonny was to fuck.

Which that led to Toews slapping Kaner in the face before spending the night crying in his hotel bedroom.

Him and Patrick haven't talked much since that happened last week. And all the seperation was killing him. He loves Patrick, but he'd pretend he didn't if it meant being with him again.

A loud knock echos through his empty house. He's startled because no one would dare bother him, especially not this late in the night.

With a heavy heart, he trudges down the stairs and to the door. He swings it open and is confronted by the face of his ex-lover.

"What the hell do you want?" Jonny scowls.

Patrick looks fucked up. His eyes a little pink and sad. Hair pointing in different directions. The clothes he's wearing. if look wrinkled, like he threw them on in a rush. His bottom lip is red and swollen.

To Jonny, he looks perfect.

"I .. I came here to apologize." Kaner says.

Jonny crosses his arms in front of his chest and raises an eyebrow.

"Look," Patrick begins, "I shouldn't of freaked out on you like that. You told me how you felt and I wasn't prepared for that. I also wasn't prepared for .. me .. to feel the same."

"Patrick-"

Kaner shakes his head, "Jonathan, I love you. I realize that now. And if .. if .. you don't want to be with me, for real this time, I understand."

Jonny's eyes start to water, so he pulls Kaner inside. "I love you so much."

Toews presses Patrick against the wall, devouring his mouth slowly, taking his time.

They stood there, memorizing every inch of each other's mouth until they had to breath. Even after they broke, they just stared into the other's eyes.

"So," Kaner says, "partners for life?"

Jonny grins out of pure happiness, "Or until Chicago allows us to get married."

Patrick giggles, "I'm sure they will when I come out."

They stand there for a moment. Giggling for no real reason while refilling their lungs with oxygen.

The moment is so perfect. Because they're perfect for each other, and they'll never forget that.

...

Evgeni's shoulders slump in defeat. They just lost the series against the Caps 4-3. It's a heart breaking loss. He knows he's disappointed, the whole team is.

The Capitals are mostly on cloud nine. They're going to be playing against the Stars for the Cup. Well, Nick is upset. He wanted Geno to play in for the trophy almost as much as he wanted it for himself.

Despite all this, no one looks more depressed than Alex.

Sure, he wants his boyfriend's team to play in for the Cup. Evgeni is slightly happy because his is. Nevertheless, Alex is probably going to win the Stanley mother fucking Cup! He should be running rampade and celebrating like a lunatic.

During the handshakes, he mutters his apologizes toward each individual Penguin, even pulling Evgeni in for a one arm hug.

"So sorry Zhenya, for everything," he had whispered before pulling away.

It made Evgeni realize how much he missed his awkward and cocky best friend. And that this petty fight over Sidney wasn't worth losing the greatest human being to ever walk on the Earth.

Evgeni stalls in the locker room. Taking his time showering and changing before forcing himself to leave.

To be completely honest, they weren't playing their best tonight. A critic on Deadspin had posted an article claiming that the Penguins were better off without Sidney. Just look at all the progress they've made, and no one has yet to even find the new Lemieux at any of their practices, or even their games. Malkin was doing such a good job as captain, they don't need Sidney.

In spirit of their real captain, they sort of .. slacked off. In the first quarter, it was a little obvious what they were doing. By the end of the second, it was very clear to the whole team that they wanted to lose for Sidney. Not even Dan yelled at them for it, which was surprising on all levels.

In the third, it was a mad rush to prevent the Caps from scoring, it worked. But the game still ended one to none.

Evgeni really didn't want to go back to the hotel. He didn't want to deal with anyone, especially the media.

No, he wants his boyfriend. So he goes to his house.

Listening to his GPS's very precise instructions, he pulls into Nick's driveway to find the lights already on.

Evgeni barely makes it to the front door before Nick pulls him inside, crashing their lips together and forcing the Russian up against the door.

He likes being dominated, loved it when Bäckström had forced him to do whatever it is he wanted Evgeni to do.

He's also into those deep, dark sexual fantasies. And so is Nick.

Sure, he's not Sidney. But he's a close second.

...

James took Paul in his arms, breathing in the scent of his older lover's cologne. He doesn't really understand what the problem is. They've lost before. Hell, they've gone to the playoffs every year since they adopted Sid and haven't gone to the Stanley Cup game once. It stings, but it's not a new experience.

And not one that would make Paulie act like this.

"Babe," James whispers, "what's wrong?"

Paul sniffles, leaning back to look up at Nealer, "I just .. I .. I don't want to talk about it." He looks down at their feet, taking a step back and turning from the Canadian to unlock his hotel room door and step inside.

James follows him inside, trying hard not to slam the door behind him, "Paul, we need to talk about this."

Paulie turns around looking him in the eye, "What do you want me to say? Hell .. Why do you even care?"

James rolls his eyes, "As your boyfriend it's my responsibility to care-"

Paul's eyes go wide, "B-boyfriend?"

"Uh yeah," James returns, "What else are we calling this?"

Martin stares at him dumbfound, then his face splits into a large grin.

Paulie cups James's face, bringing him down that short inch for a passionate kiss. No longer than sex craving make out they've shared before. One. that feels so much better, leaving them wanting more but completely satisfied with what they have.

James never does actually finds out what's bothering his lover. Just lets himself be dragged to one of the double beds and laid down without much force.

They cuddled as close as possible while watching The Big Bang Theory. Nealer has absolutely no idea what's going on, but Paulie seems invested in it, and that's all that really matters.

During one commercial, Paulie turns so they can see each other's faces.

"You know, we're gonna have to thank Sid big time for ... all of this." Paulie points out.

The day after Sid came out, Paulie had let it slip that he's gay too while being totally hammered and falling over James (who was equally as drunk). One thing led to another, and they just continued their little routine (while being sober and only after wins). Never deciding to really talk about it. Just spend so much time together that they know every little quirk they have and every detail about each other's lives.

"Yeah, we'll give him a blow job the next time we see him." James responds.

Paul makes that oh so adorable giggle every time someone talks about something sexual, "Then Ovie would probably end up punching you in the face."

"Why would he just punch me?" James asks.

Martin rolls his eyes, "Come on, do you think anyone could punch -this- face?"

James smiles, "Well I would punch them for even thinking of such an act."

Paul giggles again. So James presses their lips together, close mouth and soft. The American rests a hand on James's chest. The moment is so perfect, nothing could ruin it.

Well, except for Paulie's roommate walking in.

"Paul-ie! Sup man! I brought-" Flower freezes a couple feet in front of the bed, a six pack of beer in his right hand, "What the fucking hell?"

James's blood runs cold and his face pales, "Marc .. Marc this is um-"

Flower puts up a hand, "Whoa man. Calm your nips." The goalie grins and cocks head to the side, "Why didn't you guys tell us? I'm sure Sid would be more than pleased to know."

The look Paulie and James share is one that tells Flower he already does know.

Flower rolls his eyes, "Lazy, you're rooming with Vitale, right? I'll just go cramp his style then."

"Just um .. uh .. don't tell them." James. says in a rush, Paulie pokes him in the stomach, "Well we're going to .. uh .. at the start of the regular season .. So Sid will be there."

Flower flicks James in the ear before heading out the door, mumbling to himself in French.

Paulie looks up at him through squinted eyes, handing reaching in James's jeans and boxers to grab his limp dick way to roughly.

"You are a -horrible- boyfriend." Paul says, jacking him off.

James whimpers once, morphing into a moan that's muffled by the impact of the American's lips on his.

So he lied, this is the perfect moment that can't be ruined.

(Unless Flower walks in again .. then there would be some problems)

Sidney watched the Stanley Cup series in his special box when they played in Washington, or sitting on Alex's couch back in his enormous, empty mansion.

They started out great. The Caps whipped Dallas the first three games, the series starting three to none. Just one more game.

Something must have gone horribly wrong during the off day between game three and game four. Because the Stars raped them, five nothing.

Alex was on the road so he compromised to Skyping Sidney, looking very blank as he does.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Sidney asks.

Alex just shakes his head, "Nothing."

Sid rolls his eyes at the lack of emotion in his voice. "You know I hate it when you lie to me."

The corner of Alex's mouth turn down, the only show of life he's given in the past ten minutes, "Why you call me liar when I not?"

"Because it's pretty obvious that something is bothering you, and I just want to know what's wrong." Sidney says.

Alex bites his lip, eyes flicking to something off in the distance before resting on Sid again, "I love you."

Sid blushes, "I love you too sweety."

The corners of Alex's mouth turns up, the only emotion he's shown in the past five minutes. "Glad to know what not change now I loser."

"What? You're not a loser." Sid says.

Alex rolls his eyes, "I won every game since you move in. Now I lost, make me loser."

Sidney really wants to stroke his face, "We all lose games. It's not going to change my opinion on you, ever."

Alex nods, "Want to spend time with you always."

"I know," Sidney agrees, "It's really gonna suck next season when I start to play again."

Alex thinks this over for a minute, "Wish I could play with you."

Sidney has a totally outrageous thought pop into his brain, "That would be so amazing if we play for the same team."

"What would you do?" Alex asks.

"What, if you got traded to Pittsburgh?" Sidney asks for clarification. He laughs a little as Alex nods. "Well, considering that is highly unlikely and completely Impossible. That would be like heaven on Earth, for both our game and our personal lives."

Alex grins, "Impossible?"

"The Caps would never release you, let alone trade you to us." Sid points out.

Still, Alex looks optimistic. "Just have to wait until contract is up then."

"Yeah, sure. That's not for another couple years, right?" Sid asks.

Alex smirks, "Right."

The Caps end up losing the next three games in a row. Crowning the Dallas Stars as the new Stanley Cup champions.

Alex looks upset as he walks in the mansion. Luggage occupying both of his hands that Sidney takes instantly into the bedroom and places them on the floor beside before going back downstairs.

Sid comes back into the living room to find Alex on the couch playing on his phone. He hasn't seen the Russian since they played game five in D.C., but even then they really talk much.

Now apparently isn't any different. So Sid takes a seat on the other end of couch, curls into a ball with a notebook, and busies himself with making a list of what needs to be done around the house.

His biggest concern is the lack of furnishing that Alex has. The mansion has five bedrooms (a master and four guests) that contain only a king size bed and an empty closet.

So he focuses on making those a more homey. Then decides that they should probably change on of those to a nursery. Which leads him to adding strollers, bibs, cribs, and diapers to the list. After thinking it over he decides to underline the word diapers.

"What do we need those for?" Alex asks from where he had moved closer to Sid. (Wow, he must be like a stealthy ninja because he never felt the couch move.)

"For our kids." Sidney replies.

Ovie's eyes widden a little, "Don't know how that possible. Last time I check you no have vagina. Unless I need check again."

Sid rolls his eyes, "There's this thing called adoption, you know."

"Only twenty-five Sid. No need to think about kids now." Alex points out.

Sidney grabs his hand, "I just like to be prepared."

Ovie's lips brush on Sid's forehead, trace of a smile on his lips.

...

Alex looks down at Sid, the younger man holding his hand firmly. Hearing him talk about children sent a wave of fear through his chest.

It's not like he can say he wouldn't love to have a little Ovechkin and Lemieux playing shinny with make shift hockey sticks while wearing their dad's jerseys in the smallest size they can make. That would be a lie. He would love nothing more than to see the adoring look in Sidney's gorgeous hazel eyes as he gazes down at the new born in his arms and hums a sweet lullaby.

Adoption is dangerous. Even after they retire and move to .. somewhere safe and secluded. It's not like Alex could just come out. He's from -Russia- for fuck's sake. They've all but outlawed homosexuality (though they probably will pretty soon). Just imagine what his country would do to him, how bad the rejection would burn.

Okay, so maybe Alex is being a -little- bit of a hypocrite. He was unintentionally trying to get outed (he wasn't trying! honestly. it all just sort of .. happened. plus he's impulsive and does .. stuff.).

Adopting children would be a whole different story though. There are many ways that you could cover up a leaked picture or a story on Deadspin, but you can't cover up adoption papers. Not to mention that a person has to come evaluate your house, lifestyle, and whatever else is necesarry to be a sufficient parent.

Not that Alex wouldn't risk going through all of that for Sidney, the man he loves, because he would. He just doesn't want to put his parents, his family, Zhenya, or any of his closest friends through all of that. That wouldn't be fair just for him to be happy.

Sid's fingers trail down Alex's chest, "Why are staring at me like that?"

Alex smiles, "Because you beautiful."

Sidney blushes brightly. Closing the space between them, hand wrapped around Alex's neck.

All he can do is pull the younger man closer and give him what he wants. That's all he can really do for the time being, until things work itself out and he can give him the world.

Maybe the rest of his life will do.

The pull up Netflix on Alex's PlayStation, putting on a random movie that Sidney picks because it has Denzel Washington in it (who is literally his favorite actor). The Canadian sits in Alex's lap, heading laying in the crook of his neck while he watches the screen with no interest. Alex just plays with his hair and skin, feeling everything that wouldn't be distractive or suggestive in any way, while taking in his scent. Memorizing it so that he'd have something to hold onto if their fate forced them into different directions, even if for a short period of time.

They both sort of slip into unconsciousness, fading in and out as the warmth of their bodies lul each other.

Since they are both hockey players, that means they're always hungry. Neither of them are exactly chefs, but they manage to get by.

Even as Sidney makes them a grilled cheese sandwhich that would bring his mother to his knees from joy and Alex makes a pathetic salad, they always end up touching. Whether it's a simple brush or a lingering hold, the heat from Sid's touch soothes him and the cold flesh underneath Alex's fingers as he brushed along the Canadian's arm sends a thrill of pure exuberance through him. And it's the best thing he could've asked for.

He'll be damned if anyone would try and take away this moment.

.

Notes:

The point of this chapter was to lengthen this out because I feel like I'm moving to quickly and I want to at least get close a hundred thousand words (which is unlikely). Also I felt really lovey dovey today and I had to write this. I felt like I wasn't giving my extra pairings enough spotlight to focus on their relationship. So there. Hope you like it and I didn't scare you to much


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

They spend a few days lounging around Alex's house. Trading sloppy kisses while talking about basically nothing.

It's around two when Alex gets a phone call that makes his face go fall and go outside in such a hurry that Sister doesn't have any time to ask who it is.

He comes back in half an hour later, mouth in a thin line and his brows knitted together.

"Who was that?" Sid asks.

Alex takes his spot on the couch as close to Sid as possible, "Mother."

Sidney perks up, "Great, what did she want?"

"Wanted to know when I come home." Alex replies.

Sidney licks his lips. He knew they were eventually going to have this talk, he just never wanted it to actually happen. "And what did you tell her?"

Alex's eyes follow the movement as he frowns, "That I not."

Sid's mouth drops open in surprise, "What? Why wouldn't you go?"

The look Ovie gives him is a clear indication that he has to be an idiot not to know why. "I never tell her about us. Also could never bring you over there. To risky."

"Then go without me." Sidney forces himself to say.

Alex grabs his hands, "Can't just leave you here by self!"

Sid rolls his eyes, "Alex, I'm not going to stay here. I'll fly back to Nova Scotia and .. check up on things."

Ovie opens his mouth to protest, but Sid puts his it to keep it close.

"Go spend time with your family. We'll call each other every day just to check up," Sid assures him, "We probably need a little time apart."

Alex nods, "Distance make heart .. grow fonder?"

Sidney just nods, curling up against the Russian to press their lips together. Alex hums into it, wrapping his arms around the smaller man's back to pull him into his lap.

Sid straddles him, fingers roaming through his already messy brown hair. Alex rubs large circles on his back, kissing him lazily until they need air.

They spend the next hour sitting like that, discussing their plans and how Alex needs to do this. And no Alex, you can't stuff Sid into your suitcase and pretend he's a blow up doll to sneak him past airport security and into your bedroom at home. Alex, you can absolutely not try and kidnap Sidney and force him to drive all the way to Canada while you sing ridiculous songs that will probably be in Russian.

"There is no way we're going to spend the whole summer in your house not doing anything." Sidney objects.

Alex mumbles something that sounds like the beginning of an arguement. Instead of trying to make out anything he says, he climbs off the Russian's lap. Finding his laptop on the table and starts making flight arrangements.

Ovie makes quiet, whimpering noises of protests, but other wise stays silent. Sid knows that he misses his family, whether or he not he admits it. Hell, he misses his own (former) family. At least Alex's wants to see him.

He really tries not to think about them. But there are those nights when Alex wanders off into another room to have a private conversation with his folks, that makes him want to call up his own. Sidney will never forget the way his mother would kiss his cheek to welcome him home after being gone even for just a minute. They way his dad would squeeze his shoulder approvingly after a good game, or the smile after a loss that spoke so many words of encouragment that Troy would never say out loud. Or the multiple times Taylor was an infant and would run up to Sidney as he came home from school to great him, or how even though she grew up she never stopped doing it.

Sidney really missses his family. It's evident how he would let his finger linger over the call button beside his mother's name. Even if it went to voicemail, it would be worth it just to hear her warm, loving voice. Or hear his sister's bitching about how she needs new goalie pads when she just got some last year. Or watch his father's eyes shine with approval at his children.

He'll never be able to experience that feeling again. And he'll be damned if he brings that pain and agony upon Alex as well.

"What you thinking?" Alex asks.

Sidney's head snaps up from the black computer screen to look up at Alex. "Hm?"

"You stare at screen for long time after buy ticket. Wonder what is on mind." Alex replies.

"Oh uh it's um," Sid studders, "nothing. It's nothing."

Alex rolls his eyes, kissing Sid's shoulder and letting his hand rest on the Canadian's inner thigh, pinkie rubbing against the clothed cock.

"You're a teenager." Sid rolls his eyes.

Alex gives him a shit eating amirk that he would normally hate, "You love me."

"If we go upstairs will you shut up?" Sid asks playfully.

"Only if I carry you." Alex says.

Sidney caves. Letting himself be carried like he weighs nothing, staring into those bright blue eyes like their isn't anything else in the world worth looking at (and he'd be perfectly content if there wasn't).

Alex lays him down gently. Sid's head resting on the extra cushiony pillows that he's forced to use (and totally loves).

The Russian takes off both their shirts, eyes gazing hungrily over Sid's pale chest as he slowly slips off the white sweatpants that he acquired for Alex's closet, tossing it onto the pile of clothes that already lay on the ground.

Ovie frenches Sidney, hands cupping the perfect curve of his ass. The Canadian arches his back, holding their bodies together. Alex pulls away, easing his back onto the bed.

"Relax." Alex whispers.

And Sidney does that (or at least tries to).

It gets really hard when Ovie starts mouthing his hard cock through his boxers. The mixture of saliva and precome causing a wet spot to form that makes him feel more than uncormfortable.

"Alex ... Alex, please." He pants.

Alex looks up at him with a proud smirk, slowly easing himself out of his own jeans and briefs, before taking off Sid's.

The Canadian concentrates on the look of Alex's hard dick, pleading with his eyes to hurry it up. Probably looking vulnerable and really stupid.

Him and Alex have traded blow jobs before. Amazing ones at that. Yet this time, and every time, Alex pins his hips down to the bed and takes the head in his mouth, it feels so different than all the other times that he's done it.

It makes him wonder if Alex feels the same. Sometimes, it really sucks to not know what's going on in the Russian's head. He really wants to be able to do some. crazy mind reading shit and just know what he's thinking when it's not evident on his face.

He might be scared to know what his boyfriend thinks at times. (Though it would really help the next time they play against each other.)

Alex always has a way of .. making Sid lose track of time. Especially in these moments. Where his fingers brush against the smaller man's balls, engulfing his dick fully, and just stare up at him with seemingly unblinking eyes. Usually these moments fly by, but today it goes by slow. Exhaling and inhaling becomes something he can't do as he receives air through short, rapid pants.

He's gripping the sheets so hard that his knuckles turn white and they're going to end up with a hole, that or stretched beyond belief.

The Russian slips a finger into his ass and Sid yelps out his name, his body shuddering through his orgasm.

With a pleased smirk, Alex jacks himself off over Sid's chest. The Canadian strokes his balls, causing his hips to jerk as he comes, the come totally missing his body and spreading it self on the bedsheet next to him.

Alex chuckles at himself as he plops down next to his lover, pulling the smaller man into a comfortable and tight cuddling position.

"You know we can't just leave that there." Sidney points out, looking up at Alex through his eyelashes.

Something inside Alex must've melted, because his shoulders relax even more and now -he- looks vulnerable, "I know. Stay here for bit."

That's probably the best idea Sidney has ever heard because he -really- doesn't want to move, "Yeah, then we can start packing."

Alex presses a soft kiss to the scar on Sid's head, "Sleep."

Ovie reaches out, turning off the bedside lamp, rubbing large circles on Sid's back again.

Sidney breathes in time to the rise and fall of his boyfriend's chest. Allowing the gentle pace to sooth him.

For the first time in what feels like an eternity, he doesn't have a nightmare.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:

Jonny doesn't like to sleep alone. But he knows Kaner likes to wake up ridiculously early. Half way their summer vacation, he still gets out of bed at seven in the morning.

Its like the Vancouver Olympics all over again and he's sharing a bed with Sidney (they were letting Army room with them and they only had two beds. what else were they supposed to do?) rather than his lover.

Instead of waking up to the other side of his bed being empty and cold, he handcuffs Patrick to the metal loops of the headboard and cuddles next to him.

Kaner wakes up a little later than normal, eight forty-two. He let's himself stare at Jonny's gorgeous sleep face.

This is why he likes to get up earlier than his boyfriend. Allowing himself a few minutes to take in this sight, drilling it into his brain, before making coffee and catching up on the news.

Mentally sighing, Pat tries to use his right hand to rub his face, but he can't move it from underneath his pillow. So he lifts it and ...

Why is a blue, furry handcuff wrapped around his wrist?

"Jonny, what the -fuck-?" Kaner asks, gently shaking his lover awake.

One of Jonny's eyes open, he mumbles "sleep" before snuggling against the American, his side of the bed totally forgotten.

Patrick sighs, wrapping his arms around his captain's shoulders, "Could've just said something."

Toews makes an inaudible noise that was probably some form of protest.

Letting his eyes slip close, he kisses the top of his lover's head and tries to get in at least another hour of sleep.

...

James left to go home a week after they were kicked from the playoffs. Paulie was sad to see him go, but he knew the man needed his family.

So Paul went home and visited his folks. Catching up on everything he's missed while staying far away from sports as he can.

Unlike most people, Martin doesn't like to surround himself around sports twenty-four seven. Once his season is done, he's done with sports (except soccer, because who doesn't like soccer?).

Nealsy doesn't call him at all. Paulie considers whether or not he should text the Canadian, just to make sure if he's okay. But then he wonders if he's being ignored, or if James needs some space.

Whatever the reason, Paul doesn't want to ruin their relationship by pushing to hard.

...

Evgeni loved being in Russia. Pittsburgh is great and all, and his teammates are like family. But nothing can compare to being surrounded by true flesh and blood.

Of course, a trip back home means a trip filled with those annoying Russians that he sees all the time (they're not actually annoying, but they act as if they haven't seen Evgeni in years and won't leave him the fuck alone).

Aside from his family, spending time with Pavel Datsyuk and Sergei Gonchar is his favorite part of his vacation.

Then there's Alex he has to deal with.

He still loves Sanja in the same way he does Sergei. And he -wants- to go back to the way things were. But everytime Ovechkin checks his phone, a pleased smirk in his face, the way he walks with a pep in his step, makes his jealous side come out.

Whenever Sasha pulled him and Sanja into a strip club, the Cap didn't pay any attention to the gorgeous, naked girls dancing right in front of him. Last year, Ovie would take as many women as he could home with them. Fucking them so hard its a surprise they didn't break (Evgeni knows this because he's heard and partaken when it happened),

Alex just buried himself in his phone, staring blankly at the wall or the ground as he sipped his vodka and joined in on random conversations.

It makes Malkin start to wonder if his friend and Sidney have had sex yet. Surely they've exchanged hand jobs, maybe even blow jobs. But Sid doesn't seem like the kind of person who'd go all the way in such a sort amount of time (though it seems longer, they've only been together about three months, maybe a little more).

Then again, Alex does have a way of .. persuading people to do things they may or may not want to.

The thought of Ovechkin pressuring his captain into sex. Making him so whatever the Russian wants to keep his boyfriend there. It pisses Evgeni off. His blood boils when his mind floats to the idea, the image of Alex touching Sidney like that, probably leaving scratches and bruises on the Canadian's perfect body.

Malkin hadn't realized he had his fist clenched and glaring at Sanja until Pavel grabs his wrist.

"You okay Zhenya?" Datsyuk asks.

The Penguin relaxes slightly, "Yeah, I'm fine."

For the first time all night, Alex locks the screen of his phone and slips into his pocket, "You shouldn't lie to the man Zhenya."

Malkin snarls, "No one fucking asked you."

Ovechkin gives him a hurt look, he opens his mouth to speak, but Pavel puts up a hand.

"I don't know what the issue is between you two, nor do i want to. As you know, I don't get out much. So, I want the both of you to put your problems aside, act like best friends, pick one of these pretty girls and get laid. Okay?" Datsyuk orders.

Pavel doesn't usually come when they gather together. Hell, he doesn't even go out with Malkin that much. Datsyuk isn't that crazy, energetic hockey player that he once was. The only thing he really does, outside his profession, is try and make another baby (which isn't actually a bad thing).

"Yeah Sanja. I'm sure any of these girls would -love- to go home with you." Evgeni sneers.

Alex's eyes show his pity, "Zhenya, we have been friends for years. Now stop acting like a child and move on with your life."

Malkin stands up, wobbling slightly from the amount of alcohol he's consumed, "Fuck you. You have no idea what friendship is."

The Capital rolls his eyes, "Coming from the person who's always trying to steal what is mine."

Evgeni starts toward his (ex?)friend, but Sergei grabs his wrist and forces him back down.

"I am taking the both of you home. Once there, I want you to work out your problems and fix your shit." Gonchar orders.

Pavel and Nabokov stay with the other Russian NHLers who had politely minded their own business while Sergei drives with Malkin (becomes he's way to intoxicated to do it himself).

"I thought you and Nicky were together?" Gonchar asks as he drives.

Evgeni sighs, "I .. I don't know. I thought the same, but he hasn't tried to contact me and we never .. really classified what we are, or were."

Sergei gives him a look, "Okay, then why are you trying to ruin the one good thing Sanja has going for him?"

The Penguin doesn't respond.

"You two .. really need to stop acting like horny children with only one pretty girl on the playground." Sergei shakes his head as he pulls into Alex's driveway.

Evgeni gets out of the car before its stopped, zooming into the house.

Ovechkin stands in the middle of the living room, his eyes jerk to Evgeni as the door is slammed behind him.

"You seriously need to stop trying to get between us." Alex blurts out.

"Then you need to stop trying to get between his legs." Malkin growls.

Alex smirks, "Its not considered trying when I already have."

Evgeni takes a shot at his face, but his drunken state causes him to miss wildly and stumble.

"Zhenya, that's what happens when people date and fall in love. Its not a new concept."

"It is when you -force- him to have sex with you."

Ovechkin rolls his eyes, "If you must know, Sidney was the one who set it up."

Evgeni is shocked, "Bullshit."

Alex sighs, "I have no reason to lie to you."

The room starts to spin, so Malkin gently sits down on the couch, holding his head in his hands. Several moments later, the cushion sinks down next to him.

"Zhenya, I'm sorry. I know that you think you love Sidney, the same way you thought you loved Oksana," Alex says, "Even if you did end up together, it never would've worked out."

"H-How can you say that when you don't know?" Evgeni asks.

Ovechkin stays silent for a minute before replying, "I can't answer that. But you know deep down inside, you're feelings come from a sexual desire," he pauses, "Maybe .. Maybe you should try and work things out with Nicky. I know he cares about you .. and I'm sure you'd feel the same if you gave him a chance."

The Penguin doesn't respond, trying to slow his breathing, "Why did it have to be you? I mean ... I can't even look at you without .. thinking of you two being together. Of you .. hurting .. him."

"I don't know why he chose me, but I'm damn grateful for it. And I'd never ruin this chance to be with someone like him. Most importantly, I'd never hurt him in any way." Alex says, his voice soft.

"Its just ... its not fair." Evgeni chokes out.

Alex rubs large circles on his back, "You just ... have to let yourself find the right person."

Evgeni hasn't cried because of non hockey related reasons since before Juniors. He especially hasn't shed tears over a person.

He doesn't know what's wrong with him. Maybe he does have some feelings toward Nicky. He honestly thought they were legitimately together. Then the Swede just falls off the face of the Earth.

Evgeni had kept his emotions in order when he and Nicklas had been .. fooling around. Even when he saw Sidney and Alex together, he wasn't really even jealous.

"Can ... could you ever forgive me?" Malkin asks, his voice barely comprehend able through his sobs and slurred speech.

"I was never mad at you Zhenya." Ovechkin whispers, "If there was something I could do, trust me, I would in heart beat."

Evgeni leans against the Capital, silently letting out all his pent up frustrations. Alex murmurs kind, soothing words to him.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, but he wakes up in his own bed with large Russian nearly laying on top of him.

...

Sidney had flown to Canada. But he was only hiding inside his home. He's considering selling it because he has no use for it anymore.

He'd been waiting months to read Taylor's text, procrastinating until he knew he was totally alone.

Sitting cross legged on his bed in is house there's no one to interrupt him.

'Sid, I know this'll probably be the last time I'll talk to you for a while, so wanted to get some things off my chest,' the text reads, 'I've always suspected you were gay. And it doesn't make me think any different of you. You'll always be my awkward and dorky bro and I'll always love you. I am curious about who the guy was and if you have a boyfriend. He has to be super funny and awesome and hockey obsessed and completely gorgeous. Basically just a manlier version of you,' Sidney smiles to himself, 'I'm trying to say that you deserve the best and ONLY the best. I don't care how happy he makes you, I will never allow my big bro to be with some dickhead okay? And if anyone, and I mean ANYONE, gives you a hard time, I will beat his ass.' He chews his bottom lip, 'I know you're going through a hard time right now, and I know you miss me because I miss you too. Remember that I'll always be watching you on TV. I swear to never miss a game if you never miss one of mine.' He closes his blurry eyes for a second before continuing, 'i know you can't respond to this, my numbers going to be changed soon anyways. But I know I'll see you again, hopefully sooner rather than later. Just don't forget about your little sis, okay? -Love Taylor'

Sidney sets the phone down on the bed next to him. Pulling his knees up to his chest, his shoulders shake and his stomach clenches as he sobs uncontrollably. He's never felt so lonely, so abandoned, before. Its not Taylor's fault. He's grateful she even risked contacting him.

He cries for another ten minutes, staying curled up for over an hour. When his muscles start to ache, he unfolds himself.

Sid goes down stairs and numbly chews on apple slices. He isn't particularly hungry, but it's nearing ten p.m. and he will regret not eating later if he doesn't now.

He spends two hours blankly watching some horror movie (which was more disgusting and creepy than scary). Around midnight, there's a knock on his door.

Sidney doesn't move. No one he knows is going to bother him at this hour.

The knock happens again.

And again.

And again.

Then the person is spamming his doorbell.

Groaning loudly to himself, Sid forces himself off the coach and trudges over to the door.

He swings it open, his throat swells and it feels like he can't breath, let alone form words.

"Hi Sidney."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

"Dad?" Sidney chokes out, then clears his throat, "Sorry, I mean _Troy_."

He shakes his head, "I need my son."

Sid's heart stops, "Last time I checked you didn't have one."

"Can I come in so we can .. talk?" Troy asks.

Against his better judgment, the Penguin moves out the way and let's the older man in, "This better be good."

"I'm sorry." Troy says quietly, "I never should've .. treated you like that. You're ... Taylor was right. You're family. And we never turn our back on family."

"Maybe you should've thought of that before disowning me on national television." Sidney snaps.

The older man nods, "I know .. Your mother and I have been so worried since you got hurt-"

"What about Taylor?"

"She's wrecked." He sighs, "She cries all night and she refuses to talk to us until she sees you."

"I'd do the same. Where is she ri-"

"Sidney!"

He barely has time to process the high pitched shriek before a small body is colliding with his.

"Taylor." Sid breaths her sweet name, wrapping his arm around his sister's shoulders.

"I've .. I haven't stopped thinking about you. W-when you got hit, I got so scared. I-I-" Taylor babbles on.

"Shh. You're here now, and I'm fine. It'll be okay." Sidney whispers, kissing the top of her head with a huge grin on his face.

Troy puts an arm around his shoulders, rubbing small circles on his daughter's back.

Sid's heart swells up as well as the tears in his eyes. But something feels off, like something's missing.

"Wait ... where's Trina?"

Troy sighs, "That's what I wanted to talk about."

Taylor's cry morphs into a sob and she clutches the back of her brother's shirt.

"Troy?"

"Trina she's .. She's in the hospital."

They rush down to the hospital Trina's at. She had a heart attack and was diagnosed with Atherosclerosis.

Sidney probably should be listening to what the doctors are saying, but everything is moving in a blur.

How can his mother be sick? She's always been healthy! How .. how could this have happened?

"Sidney." Trina's voice is so weak, barely above a whisper.

Sid uses his hand to cover one of her's, "I'm right here."

She smiles weakly, "You're so pretty."

The Penguin let's a tear escape the corner of his eye before quickly wiping it away, "Not nearly as much as you are."

"I love my baby so much. You know that right?"

Sidney nods, his throat growing tight.

"I love the both of you." Trina whispers, running her hand through Taylor's hair.

"I .. I-I love you too mama." Stay chokes out through her tears.

"I never want us to break up again," she pauses to cough, "Sidney, we're so sorry about how we treated you. Its not your choice who you like, you can't choose your sexuality. So we came to a conclusion that we can accept a gay son, right dear?"

"Right." Troy replies, his voice cold.

Sid looks over at him. Troy stands uncomfortably, his arms crossed over his chest and face a complete stone. He looks unhappy, if not a little angered.

It occurs to him that the only reason he's here is to please Trina. Its hurts like a punch to the gut to think that Troy doesn't want him here.

_Fuck him_, Sidney thinks, _I'm here for mom, not him._

The hockey player plants a soft kiss onto his mother's knuckles as she falls into a medication induced sleep.

When James finally calls Paulie, its at two in the damn morning, and the ginger isn't having it.

"James," he groans, "What do you want?"

"I love you."

Martin drops the phone.

He scrambles to pick it up, his eyes still a little blurry and the room spinning.

"Oh my god. I'm so, so sorry Paul. Fuck. I .. I'm so fucking sorry .. Fuck me man." Nealsy sighs, "I'm so fucking sorry. I-I-"

"James."

"Paul?"

"I love you too."

A pause, "Oh."

"Oh?"

"I .. I wasn't expecting that."

Paulie chuckles softly, "What did you expect?"

"Not to just blurt it out like that for starters." James says, letting out a sigh.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too," Nealer returns, "Do you .. uh .. want to meet my .. parents?"

"I don't know," Martin smirks, "Are they as hair obsessed as you? If so, then I'll need to go to a professional stylist, or something."

James laughs. A throaty and happy laugh that sounds so beautiful and perfect, "Okay .. Okay."

"Are we .. being for real right now?" Paulie asks, "This isn't a weird joke or prank?"

"I am being very for real right now."

Paulie let's out a shaky breath, "So .. when do you want me to come up there?"

"How about .. a week before our first practice? You can stay here a week before coming down to Pittsburgh together." Nealsy suggests.

"Its a date."

"Paulie."

"James?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
